Frustrated manThere are a few phrases I hear on the regular that most people don’t — “Hey, speed racer!” “Oh, I’m so sorry.” “You’re inspirational.” “So, can you …?” The list goes on. But the one that peeves me the most is this: “Do you need help?” People ask me when I’m minding my own business at a café, when I’m doing some activity but obviously not struggling, and even when I’m heading into the bathroom. (I always wonder what kind of help people think I’d need in the bathroom that they, a total stranger, could give — but just that they ask is testament that asking is a knee-jerk reaction).

Now, I know asking if I need help comes from good intentions, but it also comes from bad assumptions.

At its core, the main assumpti