As a sexy paraplegic woman, I enjoy the creative play of chat rooms. What gets in the way? Ableist assumptions that chat-mates make about the body at the other end: It can stand. It can get on all fours. It has a luscious bubble butt that pops in yoga pants. It has thighs and legs that can move of their own volition without assistance.

Some bodies in chatrooms fit these assumptions – mine doesn’t. Here are a few tips for nondisabled chatters so that if we encounter each other, I don’t have to work to accommodate your vision of me.

• I may not initially tell you that I’m paralyzed, because that’s not all that I am.