Mike ErvinIn these times of economic austerity, we all have to make sacrifices. Well, you know me. The one thing I am first and foremost is a patriot. So I’m ready to do my patriotic duty.

If we really care about the future we leave for our children, people who need public assistance, like me, will have to change our attitudes. The public assistance I rely on is a program where the state pays the wages of the crew of people I hire to come in every day to wipe my butt, etc. But I know I have to accept the fact that the public treasury is not a bottomless pit. The world doesn’t revolve around me. There are other people in my state who are also in dire need of public assistance, such as the owner of the local NFL football franchise. He needs a new stadium. The one he’s using now is obsolete. It’s nearly five years old. And football stadiums don’t grow on trees, you know. This new stadium will cost a billion bucks. And the owner insists that the taxpayers pay for it all or he’ll take his team and leave town. And if that happens everybody will be pissed off at me for being so greedy and hogging up all that public assistance money.

I have to face facts. I must learn to do without. My state is in a financial mess. And the reason we’re in this mess is because our financial priorities have been all out of whack for many years. Like for instance, the people who wipe my butt were paid a hefty $13 per hour while the owner of the football team barely made enough to purchase a third yacht. This is simply not sustainable.