Dating (and Marrying) Another Wheelchair User


Emily-web

When you use a wheelchair, dating presents its own series of problems. I have heard everything from “It’s such a shame, you’re so pretty” to ” I don’t want to take care of you.”

Well! Who asked you to? I may be paralyzed, but I’m independent.

***

My rare conditions have stumped doctors since 2003. After multiple brain surgeries, I slowly stopped walking. Eventually, I used a walker that allowed me to slide my feet across the floor, as I could no longer lift them up. One day, I stood up, hit the floor and never walked again.

I learned very quickly about a medical world I had no prior knowledge of: aides, Medicare and wheelchairs. It was frustrating to deal with all the red tape trying to get supplies that I needed. Having someone help me with tasks I had performed all of my life on my own took some getting used to.

I dated nondisabled people when I stopped walking, but had never dated anyone else who used a power chair before. I met Frank through a puppy raiser for Canine Companions for Independence. At our first date lunch, I noticed he had the exact make/model power chair I had! We also had similar service dogs, he had a boy lab/golden cross and I had a girl, the same mixed breed. We met, the dogs sniffed each other’s noses and said hello. We smiled because we realized the dogs were getting along as well as we were.

After a month of dating, I realized we had something very special and unique. While people stared at us when we got out of the van, I had someone to share that story with who understood. He understood that people just stared at us as we went by, or what a spectacle we made when we’d walk through a store with two service dogs.

I had always felt a little alone being out and about. I didn’t know a lot of wheelchair users and just felt surrounded by nondisabled people who had no clue what struggles I faced on a daily basis. I was so thankful I took a chance and opened my mind to the possibility of dating someone in a chair. He completely understood more than anyone else had or will.

Nine months later, he honored me and asked me to be his wife! We’ll be married two years in October. Time flies when you’re having fun.


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Nancy
Nancy
8 years ago

This is an awesome love story about my friends Emily with her Service Dog Carmel and Frank with his Service Dog Bastien. Canine Companions for Independence made the perfect match with their Service Dogs and the Service dogs brought them together for a perfect couple match.

Hugs from Zhi & me.

Frank
Frank
8 years ago

Great Article. Congratulations on your first published piece. Love you Beautiful!!

Karen Zients
Karen Zients
8 years ago

Wonderful story beautifully written.

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

One of a kind love story that I hope will always have a happy ending! Many thanks for sharing an can’t wait to read the next chapter some day!

Tom