It’s prom season – did you go?


Every Spring my happiness for the incoming warm weather is clouded by a reminder of something that never was – my high school prom. I was a wheelchair-user by the time 9th grade hit, just in time to be rejected by every guy at my school. I never got asked to go with anyone, so I never went (stupidest idea ever).

But now days it seems wheelchair-users left and right are going to prom. They’re getting asked to go and if they aren’t getting asked, they’re going stag with a group of friends. No fears, no qualms, just putting themselves out there. If I had gone, I was over-the-top paranoid about standing out and being the only wheeler there. They on the other hand, could care less. The kids of today are awesome.

In retrospect, now that I’m a 30-something adult with a banging self-esteem, the fact that I allowed my mind to wallow in such wasted places as a teen, ruefully missing out on big-time events such as prom, bugs me to no end. Why in the heck I cared so much about what people thought is beyond me. Oh, what I would give to go back and do it all over again, a la Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed.

And I must say, I am really in love with the stag trend for prom. This makes going to prom without a date so much easier. And on top of that, going with a big group of friends to prom sounds like a blast and even more fun than having a date. I won’t lie though – I would have loved if Jay, this guy I was crushing on in high school (who had a gf), would’ve asked me to go (he would play his electric guitar acoustically for me during lunch). But sadly that never happened, and before I knew it, 12th grade came and went and he never asked me to go.

It’s funny, my injury has taught me how to cope with disappointment almost too well. I’ve been able to get over not going (I hear from lots of folks it’s overrated anyways), but that’s easy to say when you went. I’ll always want a do-over though, a replica of the corsage, the big pouffy gown that never was, the crazy limo ride with terrible mixed drinks stashed in flasks under your fancy clothes. I wanted that life experience goddamnit.

*sigh* Getting used to disappointment. I hate this aspect of disability. It may be necessary when you’re disabled, but we still need to sound off on important issues like prom whenever we can. We don’t have to miss out on everything, not anymore (and if you’re a teen with a disability thinking about prom, please go).

We miss out on so much in life, walking, jumping, physical activities we could never reach, but don’t let prom be the other big thing you miss out too. Bring on the cheesy glam, and love every moment of it.

Did you go to prom? What is everything you hoped for?


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