“Alex, don’t crawl over daddy’s legs.”

“Alex, don’t crawl over daddy’s legs.”

“Alex don’t crawl … ALEX KEEP CRAWLING, YOU’RE KNEELING ON MY FAMILY JEWELS!”

And thus begins another morning of fatherhood…

My 18-month-old daughter Alex and I are lying in bed, channel surfing between Teletubbies (chubby colorful mutants from England), Barney (purple, irritating and moralistic ) and BOOBAH (giant multicolored dancing spermatozoa) as we wait for Mom to finish showering. Now, however, as Barney decides to do a two-step with the four perfect-looking children standing beside him, my toddler decides she wants to dance as well … right between my slightly skewed, covered legs.