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The Wheelchair Pickup Artist

Aug 29 08:30

By Mark E. Smith

Have you seen the gal-chasing guru, “Mystery,” on VH1's The Pickup Artist? He's a 6-foot-something, pierced, Gothic character who teaches guys how to pickup women at clubs. Apparently, he's a skilled charmer – at least in comparison to his timid, too-shy, geeky students on the show.

As I've watched the show – or, at least listened to it at night while writing – I've been impressed by Mystery's description of the type of guys who ultimately attract women: Ones who physically standout in a crowd and are non-threatening in their pickups, or scripted “scenes,” as Mystery calls them.

Mystery's pickup theory is certainly no revelation and anyone who's inspired by such a commonsense approach – that is, to standout in a crowd and don't act creepy – likely needs schooling. Yet, if the keys to picking up women pertain above all else to getting noticed in a crowd and seeming non-threatening, here’s my pickup revelation: That's the intrinsic position of almost every guy I know who uses a wheelchair. After all, who’s more noticeable and less threatening in a club than a guy using a wheelchair?

The fact is, maybe there is something connecting Mystery's theory to wheelchair use. I've seen bold guys who use wheelchairs woo women every time they've entered bars and clubs, like rolling Casanovas, where they use their distinct looks to catch the eyes of women, and their non-threatening personas to chat them into a comfort zone. As Mystery says with some chauvinism, “You have to lure and hook them before you can catch them,” and I've witnessed guys who skillfully use their wheelchairs as bait to pull it off.

Now, you might be thinking, doesn't a wheelchair serve as a social repellent to some women, not an attractant?

Absolutely. Some women want nothing to do with a guy who uses a wheelchair. And, some woman are also turned off by guys with long hair, or earrings, or certain styles of clothes. But, not all women are put off by such aesthetics, including wheelchairs, and if you follow Mystery's thinking, the wheelchair that differentiates a guy from the crowd is a great gimmick, getting him noticed beyond other guys, grabbing the attention of the women who count, used as a tool of attraction, not assumed as a device of detraction.

Certainly, one has to be incredibly confident to literally use his wheelchair to pickup women in Mystery's kind of way. And, could that in itself – that is, confidence – be more of an attractant than any of Mystery's tricks?

Of course. Surely, there's nothing more attractive than a person with confidence, right?

However, Mystery might say that what's even more attractive than a confident guy, is a guy who uses his wheelchair to standout in a club, using his complete package to pickup women. And, call me idealististic, shallow, and manipulative, but based on the pickup scenes that I've witness, I'd have to agree.

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1. sevill | Jan 12 03:45

A very amusing article but unfortunately it does not mention anything about the post-pick-up. I can recount from personal experience the deflating experience of picking up women in bars, spending a couple of good hours only to harshly find out that's as far as it goes. Guys in wheelchairs can be as charming, as good a drinking buddy or a new contact as anyone else but at the next level most return to sexual no-man's land. People in general don't want to know and that is a harsh reality that must be swallowed.

2. jakeman | Aug 25 05:42

"at the next level most return to sexual no-man's land" I think that this is a typical MISCONCEPTION that people in the community at large seem to have about themselves, and women tend to assume. You've hit it right on. For the formula to work, this topic must come up during the first set, or we'll never get past meet, drink, making out, etc.etc.etc. Sex must be tabled on the first meeting.

3. jakeman | Aug 26 05:05

I successfully approached a 7. She would have been an 8 because of her body and attitude. She was European which is extra points in my book (American chicks tend to get fat after age 30.) This woman...let's call her "Nancy" for the point of argument was probably mid 30s...nice body...good attitude. Attempting to dispell the pre-assumptions we discussed above, I brought the conversation around to sex as quickly as I could. I told her the reason that I was single is because my ex-girlfriend dumped me because she wanted something more than a physical relationship. "We didn't talk much..." was my line. To make a long story short, within half an hour, I was talking to Nancy about spanking her! Now I won't know if its a victory until I get busy, (if ya know what I mean.) By sincerely, we'll see where things go with this, won't we.