Shock-jock Don Imus was recently fired for calling the Rutgers women’s basketball team “nappy-headed hoes,” thus setting off a long-overdue national discussion on racist and sexist speech. Finally, too, a hard look is being taken at the music industry, especially rap music, which has no problem at all calling women all kinds of nasty words. And so like good people everywhere I’ve been thinking about how we describe each other. Specifically I looked at terms used to describe those of us with disabilities.

“That’s so lame,” my 16-year-old daughter said when I talked to her about disability slurs. “It’s retarded to take offense at every little thing. God, you’re such a spaz!” Cringe. Cringe. Cringe. Who raised this child?

Disability slurs are everywhere, even in churches. I once was lost, we sing. And now am found. Was blind but now I see. “It’s just a metaphor,” said a fellow praise band member when I questioned this verse. “You take everything so seriously.” OK, fair enough. Let’s switch some words around, see how well the metaphor holds. Was gay but now I’m straight. Nope, still offensive (to me, anyway). Was female but now am male? Was fat but now I’m thin? Was short but now am tall? We now sing was bound but now I’m free as our exasperated music director finally rewrote it to say.

I’m sure many people think addressing disability slurs is silly and a waste of time. But much of our society’s body of metaphors and symbols is built against OUR bodies. Our disabilities are how society measures wholeness, goodness, smartness and so on. “That’s crazy!” you might say. …

I’m just as peeved by well-meaning people who want to “help” us “feel normal” by avoiding the word “disability” at all costs. Instead these folks prattle on about our "different" abilities (I'm still waiting for mine, I'm hoping for X-ray vision), our physical challenges, how special we are and so on and so forth. What the heck? If they really thought we’re OK as we are, disability and all, why are they so afraid to say the word? Sometimes I want to sneak up behind them and yell DISABILITY!

What it comes down to for me is this: What’s more important for us freedom-loving Americans – not caring if the words we use come across as offensive or unthinking, or respecting each other’s personhood? I hope we choose respect.

About 10 years ago, I filed for an employer identification number and was rejected. After contacting IRS to find out why, I was told that a cross-check on my social security number indicated it was invalid. "Impossible", I said, "I've been drawing SSDI under that number for years." I was told to contact the SSA and find out what was wrong with my number. You guessed it. The notation on my record did not mean my number was invalid. It meant I was an invalid. Ugh.

I have no problem being called: crip, cripple, lame, gimp. gimpy, hobbled, hot, sexy, lucsious, f*ckable...oh wait...I got off topic, sorry.

Semantics. What is it you want? Do you want to take the stigma of disability out of the equasion, or do you want to keep the AB population pussy-footing around, afraid what terms to use so as not to offend? You can't have it both ways.

I personally choose freedom of expression. I mean come on, "I was blind but now I see"? That's a perfectly logical statement. I'm not a religious person but even I can see what that song is trying to say and it certainly is NOT a slap in the face to blind people. We take political correctness to such extremes that no one will ever take us seriously in regards to the truly important issues. We are retarding ourselves if we think otherwise.

Some times you want to sneak up behind them and yell "Disability"? You want to nitpick to death the English language? Have at it, but while you are at it nitpick about the word "Disabled" as well. The prefix DIS means NOT. What is the difference between being called "lame", "crippled", or "retarded" and being called "NOT-Abled"?

As an able-bodied person, I absolutely want to respect any identity or marginalized group's consensus about language, and change how I speak to reflect that. The 1 word I have difficulty with is "lame" - in avoiding it, I'm finding there's not many words with the same meaning. "Dumb" or "stupid" is the closest, but "lame" (as currently used) doesn't imply stupidity (an unchangeable condition) but rather behaviors & styles I disdain. At the same time, I don't know of anywhere that "lame" is actually used to mean mobility-impaired -- in the last 50 years anyway. Are there people who self-identify as "lame"? Is it used clinically anywhere?