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What would you tell your teenage self?

Feb 09 06:43

I ran across a great blog the other day called Crip Confessions, written by a woman with Osteogenesis Imperfecta. Her name is Betheny and she’s a 31 year old lawyer (who in her off-time is a sexologist).

It's a fascinating look into Betheny’s inner-thoughts. She’s articulate and her blog bares her soul like few blogs do. Her entry, What would I tell my teenage self about sexuality?, is an entry that’ll stay in your head for awhile. It’s a damn good question and something we all should think about.

"What would you tell your teenage self about sexuality?" is what Betheny poses in her blog. She says she’d tell herself, “Sexuality is not just sexual activity, and it certainly is not just heterosexual penetrative sex.” So true. Every girl out there should have this drilled into her head starting at age 14. And one of the most profound life facts she’d tell her teenage self is that she really can be considered “a catch” in someone’s eyes. This is a huge thing to finally realize. I remember finally having that realization and it was monumental.

As for what I’d tell my teenage self, I’d tell her she should never be ashamed to buy strawberry pink wafer cookies as she grows up. That sunscreen really is important. And I’d tell her that despite her doubts (and boy did she have her doubts), that men will still want her. Yes, be happy, men will buy you flowers and they’ll take you out and do all the things you think are off limits because you can‘t walk; you won’t have to have any worries in that department. It’ll be a tough learning process though. Figuring out the bad apples from the keepers will be hard, but at least you’ will get to play the game. So get ready.

And I’d tell her that she still can dress as stylishly as any girl that can walk, and look just as good doing it (including heels). But I’d also tell her that she doesn’t have to dress sexy. I’d tell her the natural, no-makeup look is just as gorgeous as a woman dolled-up on the cover of a magazine. Awesome clothes and great hair can take a girl to new heights, but at the end of the day, being sexy is 99 percent based on attitude and poise. Really.

Doc Brown’s time machine may never actually happen, but reflection and hypothetical questions are important. Meditate on what you’d say. I guarantee you’ll be impressed by what you’ve learned since your younger, greener self was lost in the wilderness.

- Check out Betheny’s blog: Crip Confessions

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By Tiffiny Carlson

Tiffiny Carlson Disability buzz, travel, fashion and dating — fun things to amp up everyday wheeling life.

Tiffiny Carlson is freelance writer and writes the “SCI Life” column for New Mobility. She's also a C6 quad from a diving accident that occurred when she was 14 years old. A lifelong resident of Minneapolis, Tiffiny has been a writer in the disability community for over 10 years and writes for several publications and blogs, as well as her personal blog BeautyAbility. Her work has also appeared in mainstream publications such as Nerve.com and Playgirl.