It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London .
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't got tickets.
The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. "McTavish, Scotland," he says, "Discus," and in he walks.
The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder. "Waddington-Smythe, England," he says, "Pole vault," and in he walks.
The Irishman looks around, picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm. "O'Malley, Ireland," he says: "Fencing."
"...only the shadow knows"