#90169 - 09/14/07 08:08 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: dashing]
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Roadrunner
Member
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 2516
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If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics. These questions and answers are from the days when " Hollywood Squares";game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde : If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver (aka Clifford Arquette ): Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver : My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price : No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie : You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie : Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen : Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde : Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde : Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde : Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver : I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver : His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde : Point and laugh.
_________________________
Beep Beep 
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#90187 - 09/15/07 07:09 AM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Roadrunner]
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Paul I
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 7913
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That was funny. I think the fake prudishness of the 50s and 60s made humor a lot easier. I'd like to see a today's teenager react to these and see if it was funny to them.
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"...only the shadow knows"
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#90243 - 09/15/07 04:33 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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flicka
Member
Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
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OK farm folks and old vehicle junkies, check out this link:
Thanks, Paul! Bill almost passed out in excitement. Very cool!
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"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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#90440 - 09/18/07 01:58 AM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: flicka]
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wr11
Junior Member
Registered: 07/29/07
Posts: 25
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OK farm folks and old vehicle junkies, check out this link: Thanks, Paul! Bill almost passed out in excitement. Very cool!
Thanks from me too Paul. The black '62 Chev Impala SS is just like the '62 409 Chev I had. It was white when I bought it. Had it painted black
after about a year.
I'd give anything to have it now. I spent every dime of Army pay I made replacing clutches, trannys, u-joints and all putting it back together after going to the Sunday drag races when I was in Fort Hood Texas. About ever small Texas town had drag races you could enter on Sundays.
What a memory. 
wr
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#90442 - 09/18/07 06:40 AM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Roadrunner]
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Nona
Member
Registered: 11/21/01
Posts: 376
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After reading the Hollywood Squares quotes above thought I'd mention:
Brett Somers (sp) of Match Game Fame died today at age 83.
The boys on the radio said, "I don't even remember him"
Brett was a lady.
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Nona
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#94826 - 11/08/07 10:48 AM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Nona]
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Paul I
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 7913
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The great disappointments in life- I came to realize today that I had failed to even make the finalists in the AARP beauty contest of faces of senior citizens. Time for that nose job and skin tightening I've been anticipating. Move over Burt Reynolds. (seen him lately? He looks like if he smiles his entire face will split open)
Then comes the real kicker- Medicare. Got my official card in the mail. Ordered a new W/C just before the card came so I could get it on BC/BS. So my priviliged days of picking my own physician are over. I'm now in with the poor, the lonely, the huddled masses.
So now I wake up angry. Angry at our government. Angry at Urocare for changing a product and angry at getting to that stage in life where one is respected for longevity, tolerated for the
failures of aging and generally not taken real seriously. Maybe Warren Buffet will adopt me. Then things will change!
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"...only the shadow knows"
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#116497 - 05/16/08 11:42 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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Paul I
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 7913
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Tonight, PBS, The Statler Bros. What a great program.
"Remember Them"- the song about Gene Autry, Roy Rogers, Johnny Mack Brown, Durango Kid, Lash Laru, Smiley Burnett, Randolf Scott and all the rest- "The Great Pretender, Flowers on the Wall and so many greats. Made my evening; bound to be repeated.
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"...only the shadow knows"
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#118316 - 05/24/08 08:35 AM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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AzGary
Member
Registered: 04/18/08
Posts: 214
Loc: The extreme northern edge of t...
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Yesterday is dead and gone. Those that learn from the past, rather than living in the past will succeed in the future.
Becoming chained by the past is common in the those that have had "life changing moments". Don't let what you were/did/had in any way interfere with what you can "learn" to do, "if" you please.
The day you stop learning, you immediately limit everything possible.
I am overjoyed awaking today, will have a good time, tomorrow will be better yet, "if" I let it...
The future is now, simply be an optimist, it ALWAYS leads to self full filling prophecy!
We all know what a pessimist leads too...
It's you choice, how much will you learn before you think it's too hard to learn more?
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Another perfect day...
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#118626 - 05/25/08 06:57 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: AzGary]
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Paul I
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 7913
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The past is an important part of my life. Enjoying the memories,
talking about the old days like on this thread does not mean one is living in the past by any means. It is entirely possible to find pleasure in past experiences and events and carry them into the present and future. If I had a stagnant life or dwelt excessively on the past I might worry about it. We all realize that everyone's past also contained huge mistakes, misjudgements, etc. That's life.
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"...only the shadow knows"
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#118641 - 05/25/08 08:47 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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Roadrunner
Member
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 2516
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Paul 1 We all realize that everyone's past also contained huge mistakes, misjudgements, etc.
...............and sadly as a culture we do not look to elders for that wisdom. It is only in our old age that we begin to understand what our elders were trying to tell us.
George Santayana: "Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it."
_________________________
Beep Beep
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#118828 - 05/27/08 10:07 AM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Roadrunner]
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AzGary
Member
Registered: 04/18/08
Posts: 214
Loc: The extreme northern edge of t...
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I'd trade all my yesterdays for a today or even a tomorrow...
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Another perfect day...
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#124597 - 06/16/08 05:01 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: AzGary]
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Paul I
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 7913
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Ah, but Gary, the beauty of it is that you don't have to make that trade. Incidentally, you anywhere near Mesa?
_________________________
"...only the shadow knows"
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#127002 - 07/07/08 11:48 AM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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dashing
Member
Registered: 08/31/01
Posts: 6633
Loc: home
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glad to see us all up and active. so what if it is reminising. again, glad to be back, dash
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#127076 - 07/08/08 10:10 AM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: dashing]
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Lola
Member
Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 5944
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how nice to see you posting again, donna
hope you're recovering nicely!
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