#44013 - 07/01/06 01:11 PM
Re: For Lisa
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sodapop
Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 9486
Loc: new york
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who's using the r-word? you or lisa?
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#44015 - 07/01/06 02:30 PM
Re: For Lisa
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sodapop
Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 9486
Loc: new york
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
A-B-U-S-E
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#44017 - 07/01/06 04:07 PM
Re: For Lisa
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sodapop
Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 9486
Loc: new york
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
Lisa has clearly reported being emotionally abused. Abuse comes in all forms. Emotional abuse can be the most heinous as it is the abuse most difficult to prove.
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#44019 - 07/01/06 04:48 PM
Re: For Lisa
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
For Lisa....
Contact these people immediately:
Rape Crisis - Spouse Abuse Center
Would not a PM, email or some other form of personal contact be more apporpriate?
I realize you are trying to help but an intervention through a message board?
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#44021 - 07/01/06 05:25 PM
Re: For Lisa
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sodapop
Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 9486
Loc: new york
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
It is not exclusively a rape hotline - it is also a spousal abuse hotline. Randy may not be a spouse, but as a live-in the word applies to the situation accurately.
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#44023 - 07/01/06 06:57 PM
Re: For Lisa
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Ron
Member
Registered: 05/27/00
Posts: 2084
Loc: Arkansas
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
Lisa has clearly reported being emotionally abused. Abuse comes in all forms. Emotional abuse can be the most heinous as it is the abuse most difficult to prove.
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#44024 - 07/01/06 07:59 PM
Re: For Lisa
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sodapop
Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 9486
Loc: new york
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Originally posted by Ron: Originally posted by Xuxan:
Lisa has clearly reported being emotionally abused. Abuse comes in all forms. Emotional abuse can be the most heinous as it is the abuse most difficult to prove.
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#44025 - 07/01/06 08:28 PM
Re: For Lisa
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flicka
Member
Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
Lisa has clearly reported being emotionally abused.
Yes, Lisa has clearly been hurt emotionally here, but is that alone abuse in your book? It seems to me that Lisa has reached out to others whenever she has felt emotionally injured, so she recognizes it when it happens.
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"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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#44028 - 07/01/06 09:54 PM
Re: For Lisa
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flicka
Member
Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
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* You doubt your judgement or wonder if you're 'crazy'.
She recognizes the problem. I don't consider that abuse.
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"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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#44030 - 07/01/06 10:00 PM
Re: For Lisa
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dashing
Member
Registered: 08/31/01
Posts: 6633
Loc: home
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Originally posted by flicka: Originally posted by Xuxan:
Lisa has clearly reported being emotionally abused.
Yes, Lisa has clearly been hurt emotionally here, but is that alone abuse in your book? It seems to me that Lisa has reached out to others whenever she has felt emotionally injured, so she recognizes it when it happens.
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#44031 - 07/01/06 10:22 PM
Re: For Lisa
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flicka
Member
Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
Flicka so you're saying that abuse is only abuse if you don't reallize it is abuse?
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"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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#44033 - 07/01/06 10:44 PM
Re: For Lisa
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flicka
Member
Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
Part of the "success" of abuse is the person inability to leave.
I do not see Lisa as a weak personality in this respect. These two are only a month or so into this relationship and she appears to be deciding to bail. If she decides to let him stay, she is accepting of his 'abuse'.
We've heard negative reports from her twice. She isn't shy in her thoughts. IMO.
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"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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#44034 - 07/01/06 11:01 PM
Re: For Lisa
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ParaDude
Member
Registered: 03/22/00
Posts: 33855
Loc: United Provinces of America
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I actually agree with Flicka here. I get tired of hearing the abused person complain about the abuse yet still stay in the relationship because "I love him".
Xuxan, the end result we all want to see is that the person leaves the relationship. There is a point where they can, and that point is always NOW, to think that a woman doesn't have the POWER to leave is like saying "women are weak, women are powerless, women can't control their own lives". Some women simply don't know that, and CHOOSE to stay.
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#44037 - 07/02/06 01:27 AM
Re: For Lisa
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ParaDude
Member
Registered: 03/22/00
Posts: 33855
Loc: United Provinces of America
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I think Lisa is at this point confused.
What makes me...wanna puke, is when I women express that they simply don't think they don't think another man will love them. I mean come on, how insecure do you have to be to think that the only man on this entire planet that will love you will love you in an abusive way?
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#44039 - 07/02/06 01:38 AM
Re: For Lisa
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ParaDude
Member
Registered: 03/22/00
Posts: 33855
Loc: United Provinces of America
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
I think she is confused because people she thought she could trust are giving her mixed messages.
Janet seemed to do well for herself after sending the dude packing, perhaps if Lisa is to take any advice from anyone Janet would be the perfect person to ask.
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#44041 - 07/02/06 08:45 AM
Re: For Lisa
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sodapop
Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 9486
Loc: new york
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i doubt X can help herself but scream wolf. just because someone strikes a match, doesn't mean you call in a four-alarm fire.
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#44042 - 07/02/06 08:47 AM
Re: For Lisa
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sodapop
Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 9486
Loc: new york
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
Lisa doesn't just need peer support.
She needs legal assistance. She needs to know how to get Randy out of her house and keep him out. She needs to be assured there will be legal repercussions if he refuses to leave.
She needs to be sure the police understand she is the victim. Which I why I highlighted the number for Marion County Sheriff Victim Services 352-369-6845
She needs to know how to make sure she is safe. Which may mean staying away from her house for awhile. So she needs a place she can go. Which is why I gave her numbers for safe houses.
She may need financial resources. She has to be able to afford to be where ever it is she goes.
She may need counseling. Woman/Men can get into these kind of relationship blindly or they can learn to read the signals and stay clear.
You may think this is a simple get out and keep out - and it could be - but it might not be - and Lisa needs to be prepared for as many possible scenarios as possible.
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#44043 - 07/02/06 08:55 AM
Re: For Lisa
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sodapop
Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 9486
Loc: new york
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sodapop
Member
Member # 3926 did randy ever rape you ladies? i ask because the former woman known as Xuxan is crying wolf on lisa's behalf at the sex
forum Posts: 6831 | From: new york | Registered: Feb 2005 | IP: Janet
Member
Member # 3111
posted 07-01-2006 05:21 PM Profile for Janet Send New Private Message Edit/Delete Post Reply With Quote
quote:Originally posted by sodapop:
did randy ever rape you ladies? i ask because the former woman known as Xuxan is crying wolf on lisa's behalf at the sex
forum
No Randy never raped me or physically hurt me. Posts: 364 | From: The corner of 45th and Main | Registered: Nov 2003 | IP: Logged
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#44044 - 07/02/06 09:33 AM
Re: For Lisa
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joyt
Member
Registered: 04/16/01
Posts: 19345
Loc: AccessibleProperties.net
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Originally posted by sodapop:
killjoy are you sure X isn't Kathy Pastore?
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#44045 - 07/02/06 11:01 AM
Re: For Lisa
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sodapop
Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 9486
Loc: new york
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Originally posted by joyt: Originally posted by sodapop:
killjoy are you sure X isn't Kathy Pastore?
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#44046 - 07/02/06 11:45 AM
Re: For Lisa
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joyt
Member
Registered: 04/16/01
Posts: 19345
Loc: AccessibleProperties.net
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Originally posted by sodapop: Originally posted by joyt: Originally posted by sodapop:
killjoy are you sure X isn't Kathy Pastore?
to clarify your revisionist history, kathyp did leave that nursing home, but i held no housewarming party for her, bogus or otherwise. comprende? how many times are u going to mention that u offered and gave her a gift?
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#44047 - 07/02/06 11:59 AM
Re: For Lisa
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flicka
Member
Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
You may think this is a simple get out and keep out - and it could be - but it might not be - and Lisa needs to be prepared for as many possible scenarios as possible.
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"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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#44048 - 07/02/06 01:57 PM
Re: For Lisa
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nadajoe
Member
Registered: 08/21/01
Posts: 3765
Loc: Middle of the USA
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I & others have been abused by the gov't. ss, ssdi, ssi, kamp, kerb?...they are all abusive in some way or other. Crips are set up for abuse from the first day on out! Many here will prolly not agree but they are rich or feel that they got a good deal somehow. I like many others got the short end of the stick. I still got a hold on but it is slipping. I can feel how women feel abused...yep, I can. ,,,joe..
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#44049 - 07/02/06 02:04 PM
Re: For Lisa
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sodapop
Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 9486
Loc: new york
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Originally posted by joyt: Originally posted by sodapop: Originally posted by joyt: quote:
Originally posted by sodapop:
killjoy are you sure X isn't Kathy Pastore?
to clarify your revisionist history, kathyp did leave that nursing home, but i held no housewarming party for her, bogus or otherwise. comprende? how many times are u going to mention that u offered and gave her a gift?
i guess until i get alzhiemer's or die.
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#44050 - 07/02/06 04:26 PM
Re: For Lisa
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katka
Member
Registered: 01/27/04
Posts: 1913
Loc: BC - Best part of Canada
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Doesn't Lisa have any family?
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Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic
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#44051 - 07/02/06 06:48 PM
Re: For Lisa
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ParaDude
Member
Registered: 03/22/00
Posts: 33855
Loc: United Provinces of America
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I may get shot for saying it but I'm beginning to believe there is a bit of "drame queen" crap going on here.
You'd think Lisa would have figured out a way to at the very least let one of us know how she is doing.
I'm feeling a little bit like a mouse in a maze with at least one jackass watching me look for the cheese.
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#44052 - 07/02/06 07:18 PM
Re: For Lisa
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Ron
Member
Registered: 05/27/00
Posts: 2084
Loc: Arkansas
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If I were truly interested in a person from this board's well-being(snowball/hell/etc.) because I felt they were in need of help, I would definitely try to help them outside of the main board. If the "help" was information, I'd PM, e-mail, or call them with it rather than broadcasting it to everyone on the board in a dedicated thread.
In this case, if I gave a piss about "FL Breeze" or whoever and felt she was being "abused", I wouldn't post "my help" in a place where I KNOW the "abuser" will see it, for fear of increasing/worsening the "abuse". Then again, I'm not a drama queen, a busy-body, obese, "slow", a troll, or someone who hopes to be perceived by you assholes as some kind of "internet good samaritan". That's just me, though.
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#44053 - 07/02/06 08:15 PM
Re: For Lisa
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flicka
Member
Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
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Originally posted by Ron:
I wouldn't post "my help" in a place where I KNOW the "abuser" will see it, for fear of increasing/worsening the "abuse".
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"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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#44055 - 07/03/06 01:53 PM
Re: For Lisa
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LASHB
Member
Registered: 05/28/03
Posts: 7213
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I missed something... 
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#44056 - 07/03/06 02:02 PM
Re: For Lisa
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Ron
Member
Registered: 05/27/00
Posts: 2084
Loc: Arkansas
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Originally posted by flicka: Originally posted by Ron:
I wouldn't post "my help" in a place where I KNOW the "abuser" will see it, for fear of increasing/worsening the "abuse".
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#44058 - 07/04/06 08:48 PM
Re: For Lisa
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tippytippy
Member
Registered: 10/30/04
Posts: 705
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didn't zuzan post quite a verbage that perhaps Lola was being held hostage?
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#44059 - 07/04/06 08:52 PM
Re: For Lisa
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tippytippy
Member
Registered: 10/30/04
Posts: 705
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sorry, 'xuxan'. the misspellin came from me thinkin about one of my favorite t.v. show's 'dakTari' and postin at the same time: zebra, zuzan, xtreme, i dunno....
Last episode: Judy Comes Home
Jenny thinks the worst has happened Judy and Clarence disappear from the compound.
Aired: January 15, 1969
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#44060 - 07/04/06 09:39 PM
Re: For Lisa
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*ALBERT-1*
Member
Registered: 06/17/00
Posts: 3598
Loc: East Point,Georgia, USA
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Originally posted by Xuxan:
If I was isolated and wanted to be sure someone knew what was happening to me - I would post on a message board.
If I thought that the community on a message board might convince the person hurting me to stop - I would post on a message board.
If I thought that the person who was hurting me might look at their behavior differently seen black and white on a message board - I would post on a message board.
If I felt desperate and had no where to turn to - I would turn to a message board for help.
If I wanted to hurt the person hurting me in a similar way to how they had hurt me - a messageboard might be the way I chose.
If I wanted the person hurting me to feel just as isolated as I felt, I might post on a message board in hopes that the message board would not support what he was doing and make him feel isolated.
That's what I can think of off the top of my head that would make posting something like Lisa have logic.
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#44061 - 07/06/06 09:23 AM
Re: For Lisa
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FL_Breeze
Member
Registered: 01/10/05
Posts: 777
Loc: Florida
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Originally posted by sodapop: Originally posted by Xuxan:
Lisa has clearly reported being emotionally abused. Abuse comes in all forms. Emotional abuse can be the most heinous as it is the abuse most difficult to prove.
Xuxan...Please stop. You do not know me or Randy personally and I never posted enough details for you or anyone else here to make unfounded judgement calls regarding Randy, myself or our relationship as it was or as it stands now.
Thank you anyway for your concern!
Have a great day and take care Everyone!
Lisa
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#44062 - 07/06/06 09:32 AM
Re: For Lisa
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goldenplover
Junior Member
Registered: 06/01/06
Posts: 27
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Originally posted by FL_Breeze:
Thank you Rob!
Xuxan...Please stop. You do not know me or Randy personally and I never posted enough details for you or anyone else here to make unfounded judgement calls regarding Randy, myself or our relationship as it was or as it stands now.
Thank you anyway for your concern!
Have a great day and take care Everyone!
Lisa
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#44063 - 07/06/06 09:32 AM
Re: For Lisa
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FL_Breeze
Member
Registered: 01/10/05
Posts: 777
Loc: Florida
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Originally posted by flicka: Originally posted by Xuxan:
Lisa has clearly reported being emotionally abused.
Yes, Lisa has clearly been hurt emotionally here, but is that alone abuse in your book? It seems to me that Lisa has reached out to others whenever she has felt emotionally injured, so she recognizes it when it happens.
Lisa
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#44064 - 07/06/06 09:37 AM
Re: For Lisa
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FL_Breeze
Member
Registered: 01/10/05
Posts: 777
Loc: Florida
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Originally posted by flicka:
* You doubt your judgement or wonder if you're 'crazy'.
She recognizes the problem. I don't consider that abuse.
Lisa
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#44065 - 07/06/06 09:53 AM
Re: For Lisa
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FL_Breeze
Member
Registered: 01/10/05
Posts: 777
Loc: Florida
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Originally posted by goldenplover: Originally posted by FL_Breeze:
Thank you Rob!
Xuxan...Please stop. You do not know me or Randy personally and I never posted enough details for you or anyone else here to make unfounded judgement calls regarding Randy, myself or our relationship as it was or as it stands now.
Thank you anyway for your concern!
Have a great day and take care Everyone!
Lisa
Have a nice day!
Lisa 
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#44066 - 07/06/06 11:01 AM
Re: For Lisa
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kimberleyb
Member
Registered: 06/24/00
Posts: 4386
Loc: cripworld
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Originally posted by FL_Breeze: Originally posted by goldenplover: Originally posted by FL_Breeze:
Thank you Rob!
Xuxan...Please stop. You do not know me or Randy personally and I never posted enough details for you or anyone else here to make unfounded judgement calls regarding Randy, myself or our relationship as it was or as it stands now.
Thank you anyway for your concern!
Have a great day and take care Everyone!
Lisa
Have a nice day!
Lisa
It's really me, lisa, not the abuser.. if you don't believe me, just ask me, I'll tell ya..
whatever.. :rolleyes:
this is just so much bullshit
lisa, get help.. before you REALLY need it and no one cares enough to even bother to respond
it is what it is.. you've chosen a loser and you seem to like the garbage that passes for a relationship in your life.. stop bothering everyone with it if that's the case.
if not, DO something.. kick the moron out of YOUR HOUSE.. either that or stfu and just deal with your idiot..
geez
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#44067 - 07/06/06 11:09 AM
Re: For Lisa
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goldenplover
Junior Member
Registered: 06/01/06
Posts: 27
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that's what i thought. randy was in the recent visitor list and then out of nowhere, lisa posts.
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#44068 - 07/06/06 12:30 PM
Re: For Lisa
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casper367
Member
Registered: 06/07/00
Posts: 1644
Loc: tee-pee
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Originally posted by kimberleyb:
if not, DO something.. kick the moron out of YOUR HOUSE.. either that or stfu and just deal with your idiot..
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#44069 - 07/06/06 02:46 PM
Re: For Lisa
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flicka
Member
Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
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You can lead a horse to water....
Years ago my husband, Bill, went to the aid of a woman whose husband was slapping her around outside of a bar. While he was busy with the man, the wife hit him upside the head with her purse and nearly knocked him out. 
No wonder cops hate getting called to domestic disputes!
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"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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#44070 - 07/06/06 03:06 PM
Re: For Lisa
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kimberleyb
Member
Registered: 06/24/00
Posts: 4386
Loc: cripworld
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I know two police officers who've been shot.. and I know OF one that was shot..
all three were domestic disputes where they were shot by the wife when they tried to take the abusive husband away
the two that I know said flat out that domestic disputes are often the most dangerous calls they get
scary
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#44071 - 07/06/06 07:57 PM
Re: For Lisa
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benchmom
Member
Registered: 09/16/00
Posts: 1640
Loc: at home here in Canada
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I have been admittedly reading the posts regarding this particular relationship. Although perhaps Susan has provided in some opinions "too much information" the sentiments of many who have posted are genuine and in my opinion valid considering the limited information given. Better too much information than not enough.
In my "mom" opinion I offer that a relationship does indeed require making compromises, like deciding whether you can learn to accept that they squeeze the toothpaste from the top instead of the bottom, that they leave dirty socks beside the bed. It is fair to ask for and expect perhaps changes in behaviour, but changes in attitude are much less likely to be met with success. Accept or decline involvement in this regard. Any relationship that threatens your self worth or self esteem should be disgarded, sooner rather than later. Respect is paramount in a relationship. It is earned and shared, if it is only given on demand it is not respect. Disagreements can allow for interesting debates but there should never be personal insults involved..... it is a good time to educate and learn on both sides. If your partner patronizes or is unwilling to verbalize or listen..... forget it. A purely defensive stance is questionable and personal attacks or verbal assaults are just plain wrong. Usually one who accuses another is of themselves guilty. the pot calling the kettle black. I do hope you are either able to work out this relationship or remove yourselves with egos intact. A short complaint on a message board is not a valid indicator but I do worry and wish you both either a healthy realtionship or respectful parting of ways.
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:rolleyes:
