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#39371 - 11/09/06 02:38 PM Re: What defines friendship??
tippytippy
Member


Registered: 10/30/04
Posts: 705 		not being an egotistical, self-absorbed, linguistically non-pragmatic language use hog, look-at-me-look-at-me, complete out of touch last-to-know freak helps.
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#39372 - 11/09/06 02:40 PM Re: What defines friendship??
Jon (RockRoller)
Member


Registered: 09/05/06
Posts: 206
Loc: Isle of Mann, Uk
Quote:
Originally posted by tippytippy:
not being an egotistical, self-absorbed, linguistically non-pragmatic language use hog, look-at-me-look-at-me, complete out of touch last-to-know freak helps.
You took the words right out of my mouth, Tip.
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#39373 - 11/09/06 02:46 PM Re: What defines friendship??
cbal-craig
Member


Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 17675
Quote:
Originally posted by TeddysMom:
When/ how does a person become your friend?
When/if they don't act like you.
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#39374 - 11/09/06 03:04 PM Re: What defines friendship??
Johnboy 64
Member


Registered: 11/16/01
Posts: 15944
Loc: a nice place 		what tippy and craig said
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#39375 - 11/09/06 03:08 PM Re: What defines friendship??
MrSoul
Member


Registered: 03/11/03
Posts: 8330
Loc: Desolation Row 		I think Frederick Perls or one of those guys originally said this; it was quoted on a widely-distributed poster in the 70s, and I never forgot it:

Quote:
"I not only love who you are, but I love who I am when I am with you."
_________________________
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."--Edgar Allen Poe

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#39376 - 11/09/06 03:18 PM Re: What defines friendship??
Jon (RockRoller)
Member


Registered: 09/05/06
Posts: 206
Loc: Isle of Mann, Uk
Quote:
Originally posted by MrSoul:
I think Frederick Perls or one of those guys originally said this; it was quoted on a widely-distributed poster in the 70s, and I never forgot it:

Quote:
"I not only love who you are, but I love who I am when I am with you."
The cheese stands alone. :rolleyes:
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#39378 - 11/09/06 03:35 PM Re: What defines friendship??
flicka
Member


Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
Quote:
Originally posted by TeddysMom:
Do animals have friendships with other animals or is friendship an intrinsically human thing?
I think animals have respect for certain other animals. Our wolfy dog was friends with both the weener and the cat. Weener and the cat hate each other.

Respect. I believe that to be the basic foundation of a true friendship.
_________________________

"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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#39379 - 11/09/06 03:53 PM Re: What defines friendship??
MrSoul
Member


Registered: 03/11/03
Posts: 8330
Loc: Desolation Row
Quote:
Originally posted by TeddysMom:
TJ, you will never be alone. I will always be your friend. I think we have an insight into each other that few others understand. I think you are like some of my friends who I have not talked to in years, but I know if we connected up we could talk on for hours without stopping. I think we will always be friends.
Thank you, I feel the same.

I really didn't get Jon's comment, and assumed it had something to do with me being a vegetarian. Wasn't that line in a playground song?

In any event, assume the comment was addressed to everyone else, not me.

Quote:
Originally posted by TeddysMom:
Some friendship are based on something that doesn't last. And when the thing that unites you is over, so is the friendship. I've met up with people from my past who I thought of as best friends at the time, but after catching up with what our lives had been like since we last saw each other - there really wasn't anything to talk about anymore.
It was exactly like that when I quit drinking. One reason AA is so successful is that it provides people with "instant friendships" the way drinking did, or seemed to.

One of the traumas of recovery is that people feel like they've suddenly lost all their friends, exactly at a time when they need friends the most.
_________________________
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."--Edgar Allen Poe

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#39380 - 11/09/06 04:00 PM Re: What defines friendship??
MrSoul
Member


Registered: 03/11/03
Posts: 8330
Loc: Desolation Row
Quote:
Originally posted by flicka:
I think animals have respect for certain other animals. Our wolfy dog was friends with both the weener and the cat. Weener and the cat hate each other.
Agree with that! Two of my cats hate each other. I still can't figure out why. If one comes within about 8-10 inches of the other (like even just laying on a bed or something), they start hissing. One corners the other regularly and growls at her. (They've all been neutered, too, so it isn't THAT.)

I really wish I could speak feline so I knew what their issue was.
_________________________
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."--Edgar Allen Poe

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#39381 - 11/09/06 04:28 PM Re: What defines friendship??
Lola
Member


Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 5944
Quote:
Originally posted by flicka:

Respect. I believe that to be the basic foundation of a true friendship.
this is my opinion too
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#39382 - 11/09/06 06:53 PM Re: What defines friendship??
teyrn
Member


Registered: 01/05/03
Posts: 2705
Loc: Oklahoma
Quote:
Originally posted by MrSoul:
Quote:
Originally posted by flicka:
I think animals have respect for certain other animals. Our wolfy dog was friends with both the weener and the cat. Weener and the cat hate each other.
Agree with that! Two of my cats hate each other. I still can't figure out why. If one comes within about 8-10 inches of the other (like even just laying on a bed or something), they start hissing. One corners the other regularly and growls at her. (They've all been neutered, too, so it isn't THAT.)

I really wish I could speak feline so I knew what their issue was.
Jealousy usualy. One cat doesn't want the other cat to get the attention. I had two litter mates that went at each other this way. Once she was killed crossing the street the other cat mellowed out now that he is the only cat. But I would guess it is jealousy. Nuetured cats aren't teritorial in the sence that cats are territorial. They will mark out their favorite places in the house and protect those to the Nth degree. Cats aren't that complicated their relationship skills are quite simplistic. You are their world and F any one that tries to enter that world we have together.
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#39383 - 11/09/06 07:13 PM Re: What defines friendship??
jerseychick_dup1
Member


Registered: 01/21/05
Posts: 819
Quote:
Originally posted by TeddysMom:
When/ how does a person become your friend? Is there an instant when both of you decide without a word you are friends?
It depends and it goes back to the snowflake theory-every friendship is different


Does it require some sort of special meeting of the minds? Do you have to ask and receive a reply?[/QUOTE]
Yes to first question, no to second

Can a person be considered your friend, but you not be considered theirs? If two people think of themselves as friends - can one stop being friends and the other continue on?
[/QUOTE]
Yes to the first and second-but for the second after awhile the person who still wants the freindship will catch on-it's over and you need to move on..

Can you be friends with a person who is hated by another friend? [/QUOTE]
I've thought lots about this-yes I think you can, but it's tricky..Sometimes, be it immature, you have to keep people seprate and you cannot have all freinds at the same party or all go out together..Also, if I found out my "friend" was telling the person I can't stand stuff about me-that would be a deal breaker.

Can you hate what a friend does and still maintain your friendship with them? [/QUOTE]
I am not as good at this as some..Yes I have freinds with differing veiws then me..But if they do something to really hurt me-I am much more likely just to keep on moving rather then work on stuff..


Are there different kinds of friends? Are some friends personal and intimate and other professional and collegial? [/QUOTE]

Absolutely

Can you be friends with your kids and is it good to be? [/QUOTE]

Yes and Yes..I disagree with all talk show shrinks on this-My mom was strong enough to be mom and friend wrapped in one-I never wanted it any different..


Can siblings be friends? [/QUOTE]
Absolutely


Is an online friendship different than one with a person you see often?[/QUOTE]
Yes-but one is no more or less valueable than the other..


What makes a friendship end?[/QUOTE]
it's always different-it could be as gentle as we're done school and that was our main common ground..Or as dramatic as I just found out she stoll houndreds of dollars from me and now is lying to everyone about me..Or I really wish her well but she now thinks I am going to hell for not attending her church and everytime she see's me that's all she talks about-all I can offer is we both respect each other's choses regarding faith-if that's not good enough-well..


What makes someoen your best friend? Can you have more than one best friend?[/QUOTE]

Simple-when something happens (good or bad) they're the first person you want to tell..


Can lovers be friends?[/QUOTE]
Absolutely-That is a requirment for me, how caan you not be friends!

Do we need friends?[/QUOTE]
I sure as hell do


Do animals have friendships with other animals or is friendship an intrinsically human thing?[/QUOTE]

I think it's a human thing-some disagree with me.
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#39384 - 11/10/06 07:38 AM Re: What defines friendship??
joyt
Member


Registered: 04/16/01
Posts: 19345
Loc: AccessibleProperties.net
Quote:
Originally posted by Jon (RockRoller):
Quote:
Originally posted by MrSoul:
I think Frederick Perls or one of those guys originally said this; it was quoted on a widely-distributed poster in the 70s, and I never forgot it:

Quote:
"I not only love who you are, but I love who I am when I am with you."
The cheese stands alone. :rolleyes:
jon, was your reply really necessary? mr soul's not a rat, hi-ho the derry-o- he and susan are my friends- i thought that u and i had always been friendly, as well- u even reached out to lorrie yesterday, which was a gracious gesture on your part-

I hope the day will be a lighter highway
For friends are found on every road
Can you ever think of any better way
For the lost and weary travelers to go
Making friends for the world to see
Let the people know you got what you need
With a friend at hand you will see the light
If your friends are there, then everything's all right
It seems to me a crime that we should age
These fragile times should never slip us by
A time you never can or shall erase
As friends together watch their childhood fly
Making friends for the world to see
Let the people know you got what you need
With a friend at hand you will see the light
If your friends are there, then everything's all right
-elton john, "friends"

Quote:
Can you be friends with a person who is hated by another friend?
if u and your two friends are mature, then yes, u can- u agree not to discuss one friend with the other friend (x is friends with y and z, but y and z can't stand one another, so x and y agree not to discuss z, and x and z agree not to discuss y)- just be honest with both of your friends, and make sure that everyone's on the same page-

(eta that i miss kiara- )
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#39385 - 11/10/06 08:19 AM Re: What defines friendship??
StarlightAngel
Member


Registered: 04/25/01
Posts: 11013
Loc: a box on the table 		friends help you move.
real friends help you move bodies.

- unknown internet source
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"oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living it is gone."

http://www.autonomynow.org
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#39386 - 11/10/06 09:20 AM Re: What defines friendship??
flicka
Member


Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
Quote:
Originally posted by joyt:
jon, was your reply really necessary? mr soul's not a rat, hi-ho the derry-o-
No, Jon said Soulman was the cheese, not the rat! And, as much as I despise that children's song & dance, it is always much better to be the cheese because you get to be the farmer the next time around.

So, it's not so bad...
_________________________

"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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