#197785 - 02/28/11 08:23 PM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Paul I]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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in the case of my wife and i, we started fuckin'. i'm not the only one in my marriage who has crossed the gender line.
as for not realizing the reality of either being bisexual...i've lived a life so removed from that, i wouldn't have a clue.
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#197786 - 03/01/11 07:03 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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i've lived a life so removed, i wouldn't have a clue.
if you say so
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#197787 - 03/01/11 07:43 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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who would you like me to tell, greg?
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#197788 - 03/01/11 08:04 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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just be you, it's usually entertaining
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#197789 - 03/01/11 08:21 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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life lessons have taught me, if you can be open about who you are to your children, the rest of the world is a piece of cake. that is...assuming you have a significant role in parenting your children, which some people, especially 'fathers,' don't.
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#197792 - 03/01/11 09:55 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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1. no, greg. i didn't lie to my children for their 'benefit,' sorry.
2. i lived blocks from the peace bridge and rode my bike to (advanced europeanized) ontario several times a week. who are you trying to kid?
3. are you certain that you are not alert to the pitfalls of my 'lifestyle' due to (some smug lofty europeanesque) homophobia?
4. do your kids know that some guys smoke pole? how has that knowledge harmed them?
5. perhaps you should come out to your children too. even if you're not homo or bi sexual, it may cause 'em to breathe a huge sigh of relief saying, 'so that's why he's so fvckin' weird.'
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#197793 - 03/01/11 10:53 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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I got rid of my post cause I suspected your reaction.
I'm OK with the boundaries I set while raising my kids.
You don't belief in boundaries? so be it
and if someone doesn't buy into your approach, they're smug and homophobic, right?
"come out to my children"? well we all went to home depot yesterday, does that count? 
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#197794 - 03/01/11 11:21 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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no, the homophobic smug thing is about thinking that alt. sexuality and good parenting are an illogical pairing.
i've told my children from day one that there is no combination of social views, political affiliations, sexuality, nor religious beliefs that they must or can adopt to 'please' me. i've told them that their personal vision, their sexuality, their tastes, their spirituality, their world view is theirs to cultivate and navigate as they see fit.
i've expected my children to search their interests online with no limits or restrictions. if/when they are curious about sex, they will know it for the endless cyber avalanche that it seems to be. hopefully they will figure out why...i never did. i think porn is ugly and weird, ftr.
greg, i don't believe a lot of things are wrong; it's true. even wearing the most christian hat i own...someone had to kill all those biblical folk to execute god's plan. someone had to swing the whip. if one of my children is destined to be a 'bad guy' in some larger universal scheme, i want them to be the best damn homocidal maniac out there.
Edited by kan5a5 (03/01/11 12:15 PM)
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#197797 - 03/01/11 12:47 PM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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MrsDrublic
Member
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 926
Loc: los angeles ish
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if one of my children is destined to be a 'bad guy' in some larger universal scheme, i want them to be the best damn homocidal maniac out there.
LMAO yep, awesome good job!
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#197801 - 03/02/11 07:18 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: MrsDrublic]
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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T, my point wasn't wrt sexuality, it was about respect and stepping out on your spouse in order that one person indulge in their sexual adventures
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#197802 - 03/02/11 07:50 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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...and it doesn't matter that i 'warned' my wife and if that didn't really sink in, i warned her with real-life demonstrations of bisexuality, and there were no promises of sexual fidelity in our wedding, on purpose. i didn't promise anything to her that i didn't deliver.
and 'stepping out'??? is there no way out of these straight people word traps?
i've NEVER presented myself as something i'm not to ANYONE i've dated...AND, strangely enough, i've always been one of those guys who's snatched up quickly when single.
one time, three people i was dating, two guys and one girl, showed up at my house thinking i was their obvious choice for a NYE date, i took all of 'em to a gay bar in topeka. NO ONE was floored or even caught off guard. we had a great time.
i think people tend to be less conventional than the average bloke supposes. it all seems to come down to how you handle it.
Edited by kan5a5 (03/02/11 07:51 AM)
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#197803 - 03/02/11 08:38 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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T, my point wasn't wrt sexuality, it was about respect and stepping out on your spouse in order that one person indulge in their sexual adventures
oh...and 'one person?'
that's wrong on two counts.
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#197804 - 03/02/11 08:41 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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i've NEVER presented myself as something i'm not to ANYONE i've dated...AND, strangely enough, i've always been one of those guys who's snatched up quickly when single.
good for you, I, I, I, ,me, me, me, my, my, my, reminds me of my X after I got injured
fine, go do "your" whatever, the same thing I told her
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#197806 - 03/02/11 09:47 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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i've NEVER presented myself as something i'm not to ANYONE i've dated...AND, strangely enough, i've always been one of those guys who's snatched up quickly when single.
good for you, I, I, I, ,me, me, me, my, my, my, reminds me of my X after I got injured fine, go do "your" whatever, the same thing I told her
i'm not sure whose perspective i'd share if i'twasn't my my my own.
i've never understood marriages and relationships as 'generously' imposed limits - either upon one's self or upon the 'other.'
my wife and i were talking about that yesterday. she said that one of her coworkers would go to the upcoming girls night out IF her husband would LET her.
in our godless hedonistic home, vicki simply said, 'cara, julie, and i are plannning to go out for steak thursday night. got any good ideas about where to go?' if she comes home very late and a bit tipsy, as she has from past girl's nights, it'll be no big deal. if she came home having had an all girl pile up, it'd be no big deal. she'd likely wake me up to tell me about it. (although, with the chicks she's going out with, it would take a LOT of alcohol to pull it off)
let me guess...the imprisioning relatioship is more about LOVE and COMITTMENT, right? bullshit! limits (on others) are much more self-serving and about ME ME ME!
frankly, i think you have it backward.
when your wife told you about her interests/desires, WHO WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT when your said, 'fine, go do "your" whatever?' you didn't even listen to her or care what she wanted, you skipped to how it would affect YOU, how YOU felt about it. <--- and you would call that your 'gift' of fidelity?
ain't it strange that the people most willing to delude themselves about their own and their SO's sexuality/fidelity are the same ones who secretly destroy their marriages in affairs or via inattentiveness and disinterest? 'DOH! I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.'
i want my SO to grow, change, be swept up by passion, explore, expand, reinvent. if that results in her being with another or leaving solo then that's okay... i couldn't/would have never agreed to be in a relationship governed by anything less restrictive. nobody's ever wanted to parent me for long, not even my parents. by the bond we have created, vicki and i don't even have to listen to unsolicted advice from the other, let alone be required to follow it.
is loving more about freedom or restriction?
Edited by kan5a5 (03/02/11 09:58 AM)
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