#197704 - 02/26/11 08:40 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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you versus we is where the difficulty arises but I guess it depends on one's perspective
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#197706 - 02/26/11 08:47 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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yes, i've always had a very small 'we'ness.
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#197709 - 02/26/11 09:18 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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but a large me-ness
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#197711 - 02/26/11 09:26 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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yes. who else is going to be interested enough to propell me toward a meaningful and productive future? i audition, submit examples of work, make contacts...all for me, all about me.
...and i keep redefining myself; redefining others falls into the 'never teach a pig to dance' zone.
do you argue with my point that not all relationship partners get bent if their S.O. goes in search of a sexual adventure?
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#197727 - 02/26/11 05:33 PM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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storygirl
Junior Member
Registered: 02/21/11
Posts: 3
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No I don't argue the point that some mutually consenting adults are ok with "open relationships". I'm not one of 'em and I abhor the idea that I'm getting from my boyfriend that I should consent to it bec I'm disabled and therefore in his eyes, not sexually attractive anymore. He isn't anymore either with his selfish ways. Glad to follow the discussion though.
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#197728 - 02/26/11 10:14 PM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: storygirl]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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so...your boyfriend is using his own brand of candid communication. at least you know straight from his mouth - something that not all women get.
i was with my wife as an a/b man. i quickly acknowledged that she may have found herself in a relationship she didn't bargain for. i completely understood why she might want to be with an able bodied sex partner again. it made more sense to me that she would.
as for tryin' to get me off, post injury - that introduced a bunch of stuff that she isn't drawn to naturally. i'd honestly prefer that she not bother with it out of some need to perform her duty.
i know all relationships are different. there is certainly nothing wrong with what you want - especially if it's possible to negotiate. some people DO want things that don't exist - and that can't be fun.
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#197729 - 02/27/11 12:19 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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MrsDrublic
Member
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 926
Loc: los angeles ish
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you versus we is where the difficulty arises but I guess it depends on one's perspective
greg why do u pick at everyone, all the time?.. i dont think theres a point in all of it.. specially when u will never meet any of these ppl in person. ur wasting ur own time going off on long rants toward others.. plz explain to me why u do this.
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#197730 - 02/27/11 06:54 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: MrsDrublic]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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i think greg's new tack is - 'you guys just don't get it.'
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#197731 - 02/27/11 09:37 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: MrsDrublic]
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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you versus we is where the difficulty arises but I guess it depends on one's perspective greg why do u pick at everyone, all the time?.. i dont think theres a point in all of it.. specially when u will never meet any of these ppl in person. ur wasting ur own time going off on long rants toward others.. plz explain to me why u do this.
well, maybe cause I disagree with their point of view, take terry's latest post, I was faced with a similar situation after I went from healthy to whatever the fuk I am now, Terry and his wife worked out a compramsise that worked for them, I chose what I thought was an honourable path and would be best, not just for me, but for our "family", mind you not as much fun as Terry's
that good enough for ya?
I try not to "pick at everyone", just those who come at me
I guess this is as good as it gets
good luck pretty woman
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#197732 - 02/27/11 09:38 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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i think greg's new tack is - 'you guys just don't get it.'
you must really miss ronda
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#197733 - 02/27/11 10:08 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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...I chose what I thought was an honourable path and would be best, not just for me, but for our "family", mind you not as much fun as Terry's
i'm sure your family and the world have benefitted hugely from you fuckin' less. i know i'm thankful. what's that they say about a butterfly's wing...?
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#197734 - 02/27/11 10:54 AM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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It makes sense you'd see it as just about fuckin
Edited by Greg (02/27/11 11:05 AM)
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#197735 - 02/27/11 12:02 PM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: Greg]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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what?...you want an emotional connection? that's extra.
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#197736 - 02/27/11 12:26 PM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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greg, any chance you'd clue me in as to what you think my wife and i have negotiated?
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#197737 - 02/27/11 01:16 PM
Re: boyfriend wants sex with able-bodied women
[Re: kan5a5]
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MrsDrublic
Member
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 926
Loc: los angeles ish
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ok let me clarify summin. its one thing for a cpl to talk about wanting to have another person in the mix for whatever reason, the mr and i have no issues bringing in a girl wed both enjoy. but in my opinion if ur partner is saying that ur no longer attractive to them bc ur in a chair, and theyd rather bone sum1 else, but stay with u.. thats pretty damn insulting.whats that say about the person ur with? sex is so important that they have to go elsewhere? if u LOVE someone, truly love, enough to MARRY them or whatever, sex shouldnt be such a big deal that ud have to stray. there is such things as sex toys and foreplay, intercourse isnt the only intimacy that counts, and to think the person ur with isnt gonna be hurt by the notion that they arent enough for u, simply bc they cant get up n bone u or run up a flight of stairs.. i jus find that to be a fcked subject. when i first started getting emotionally entangeled w my mr, i had to think about what the what if's were for the future, such as his junk may stop working one day, he may need me more as a nurse than a woman.. ect ect.. and whether it was worth it to me to be w him given the circumstances. i knew that there could be things i wouldnt like to have to deal with in that respect, but loving him was more special to me than having some other dudes junk in my body.
when i first started coming here i got ragged on by several of the members bc they thought i was 'just another AB female with him for the novelty of a cute wheelchair man' and that 'id lose interest in him when that wore off'.. its not about what ur physically going thru, its about who u are and if the other person loves and respects u enough to stick with u thru it all. since then, those same ppl that picked on me, have shut up, seeing almost 3 yrs has passed and were still together. obviously we love eachother. well, minus rhonda who hates me bc shes an idiot, but thats besides the point im trying to make here.
i see no reason for ppl to be so mean to eachother, namely this on going war between u, mr greg and kan5a5..what does difference of opinion have to do with how a person loves? if this chick who started this thread was looking for advice, im sure thas all she wanted, other ppls views, more likely than not, she wasnt looking to start yet another argument between the two of u about whos normal or right or wrong. and honestly greg this seems childish. it bothers me that the ADULTS on this site bicker like children over things such as this..
live n let live, choose what will work for YOU and bite ur tongues when it comes to tearing sum1 else down for seeing it differently. jeezuz!
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