"Well, ahh, ya know, I like yer ah..Buddha, but ahh...I gotta tell ya, I do not like your Buddhists. Your Buddhists are so unlike your Buddha."

"I mean, the Buddha is this cute pot-bellied bald dude that can sit cross-legged on cold concrete all day long and still hold a smile on his face."

"But so many of the Buddhists I know are unsanitary, slovenly, fat and lazy by day and they got some pretty weird bodily holds (like the outstretched arm and hand while crouching on a stretch of green grass --I'm not even sure they know, themselves, let alone whether the Buddhist knows) what the heck they're doing...no, I don't care for your Buddhists. We won't Even get into the way they act...things they say and do. They just don't exemplify the peaceful and wise sitting Buddha.

Thats why I won't call myself a Buddhist. I mean, I do stretches and get out of myself from time to time and practice peaceful thoughts; I have pretty darn deep respect for the Buddha...am well aware that karma is a bitch, Plus, I keep my body clean, dress nifty, am not fat or lazy....I'm good. In fact, I'm better than 'all that'.