#192649 - 09/15/10 12:46 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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paradocs
Member
Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 2323
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Here it is as a "male" joke:
A group of 15 year old guys discussed where they should eat. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they only had $6.00 between them and Jenny Johnson, that cute girl in Social Studies, lives on that street and they might see her and they can ride their bikes there.
10 years later, the group of 25 year olds discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the beer was cheap, they had free snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and there were lots of cute girls.
10 years later, at 35 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the cosmos were good, it was right near the gym and if they go late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.
10 years later, at 45 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big, and the waitresses there had tight uniforms and great figures.
10 years later, at 55 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was reasonable, the wine list was good, and fish is good for your cholesterol.
10 years later, at 65 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because lighting was good and they have an early birdspecial.
10 years later, at 75 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because food was not too spicy, the restaurant was handicapped accessible and they even had an elevator!
10 years later, at 85 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
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#192670 - 09/15/10 07:13 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: paradocs]
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Lola
Member
Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 5944
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#194562 - 10/21/10 12:03 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Lola]
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paradocs
Member
Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 2323
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I got this in an email
Observations on Growing Older
Your kids are becoming you and you don't like them. But your grandchildren are perfect!
Going out is good. Coming home is better!
When people say you look "Great," they add "for your age!"
When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything ... Movies, hotels, flights, etc., but you're too tired to use them.
You forget names ... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!
The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.
You realize you're never going to be really good at anything, especially golf.
Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.
The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
Your spouse sleeps better in a recliner, with the TV blaring than does in bed. It's called "pre-sleep."
Remember when your mother said "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!
You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married." Now, "I hope they STAY married!"
You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch; when GOOGLE, iPod, email, modem were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a chair; and
you used to use more 4 letter words such as "who, what, when, where," etc.
Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.
Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless?!!!"
What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
Everybody whispers.
You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet, 2 of which you will never wear again!
But old is good in some things: Old songs ... Old movies...
And best of all OLD FRIENDS!!
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#194580 - 10/21/10 04:56 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: paradocs]
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Paul I
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 7913
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OK Paradocs, you started it!
Summary of Life
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
_________________________
"...only the shadow knows"
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#194602 - 10/22/10 11:39 AM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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paradocs
Member
Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 2323
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Actually, you can baptize a cat if you do it by the "sprinkle" method. Immersion is not recommended, however, unless you're wearing armor.
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#195256 - 11/10/10 03:39 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: paradocs]
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Paul I
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 7913
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100 YEARS AGO
California became a state
The people had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.
So basically nothing has changed except the women had
real boobs and the men didn't hold hands.
_________________________
"...only the shadow knows"
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#195294 - 11/11/10 01:26 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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paradocs
Member
Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 2323
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Actually, California was admitted to the Union as the 31st state September 9, 1850 (160 years ago). The other items are probably correct with the possible exception of men holding hands. I don't know anyone who was living there back then who can verify or disprove that claim.
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#195317 - 11/11/10 03:00 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: paradocs]
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Paul I
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 7913
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Actually if the 100 were changed to 160 it would also be totally more accurate as it was closer to the age of the gunfighters.
Paradocs, you are a veritable source of accuracy.
_________________________
"...only the shadow knows"
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#195371 - 11/12/10 12:49 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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paradocs
Member
Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 2323
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I knew California's admission to the Union was in 1850 because I collected stamps as a kid. The stamp celebrating the California Statehood Centennial was issued the day my best friend's brother was born -- September 9, 1950. We always jokingly referred to it as his "birthday stamp."
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#197154 - 01/23/11 09:46 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: paradocs]
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Paul I
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 7913
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I was sent this link to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffa_f1JNSJM
website. The Sinatra song is great; the video will bring back memories to us born in the 40's. Then I started browsing the other songs to the right and ended up spending a lot of time listening to them. John Denver Strisand, (sp) and others.
_________________________
"...only the shadow knows"
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#197689 - 02/24/11 08:45 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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deanaossenfo
Junior Member
Registered: 02/24/11
Posts: 1
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"The Sinatra song is great; the video will bring back memories to us born in the 40's. "
I am one of the big fan of Sinatra that's why thank you for sharing the video link.
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#197725 - 02/26/11 03:57 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: deanaossenfo]
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Paul I
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 7913
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That's great! I've become a John Denver fan, myself. You tube never fails to amaze me. It's like Wickipedia without words.
_________________________
"...only the shadow knows"
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#197726 - 02/26/11 04:09 PM
Re: Just plain ole aging..
[Re: Paul I]
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shakey56
Member
Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1889
Loc: where the wild roadrunners roa...
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I saw John Denver at Red Rocks in1972. Was at Craig at the time, and I went just to get out for awhile since I was too cool to listen to his music. Really enjoyed the show, and I've had his stuff in my collection ever since.
_________________________
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
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