#194368 - 10/19/10 06:04 AM
Add Disability to the Mix
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ævory
Member
Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 9657
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and you can see why so many of us get into some hard situations, relationship-wise. This article (posting) is just one of so many at this site that I feel is very accurate and full of in-depth analysis of topics on relationships and love. I really like this place and just found it...so, I've not delved into it too much yet. I do like what I see. Here is just one of the many bloggings that seems so true & I feel that way from having experienced many years of dating and relationships .
http://openyourhearttothelove.blogspot.com/2009/07/i-am-not-tempted-by-anything-but.html
THURSDAY, JULY 2, 2009
I Am Not Tempted By Anything But Temptation
This is one of a series of articles that talks about seduction, and how we can fall prey to its grasp. Some of these tactics and games have the powerful ability to cause immense emotional torment and anguish to the player(s), if used when you are already in a relationship, or used for the thrill. It is not the intention of these articles to teach you how to use these tactics, but rather to inform you, so you can guard and protect yourself against them.
Love Triangle – The Ugly Side of Human Nature
Besides the obvious fact that when people cheat they are personally extremely needy, and/or else they have handicapped thinking patterns and behaviors, that would cause them to resort to cheating as a means of calming those issues. Because of that they are easily susceptible to seduction…or they are masters of it.
I already wrote about how Casanova got the bright idea to use the “Love Triangle” tactic when he thought he was loosing me to mounting bills, work, and then my son. I do not believe that he originally intended on his little game going as far as it did when he engaged. Which is why it is so very important that we do not place ourselves in situations where our animal instincts, or our inhibitions can be compromised, around certain people and types of people and situations. His intention, as he later relayed it to me, and which only backfired, was to bring me closer to him.
The Forbidden Fruit
Almost all of us are vulnerable to the attractions of other people, and we take precautions against unwanted lapses. Robert Greene – The Art of Seduction
Both the “Love Triangle” and “Temptation” work on our desire to engage in the “forbidden fruit”. We want what we cannot, or are not supposed to want or have. They both work on our desires. Curiosity, coupled with our imaginations, killed the cat. Casanova originally engaged, and used Bulldog, because she had already made it clear to him that she was interested, which made her an easy target to implement the “Love Triangle”. But Bulldog was clever, and knew exactly what she was doing. She had already been strategically placing herself in position for the kill.
Lure the target deep into your seduction by creating the proper temptation: a glimpse of the pleasures to come. As the serpent tempted Eve with the promise of forbidden knowledge, you must awaken a desire in your targets that they cannot control. Find that weakness of their that fantasy that has yet to be realized, and hint that you can lead them toward it. It could be wealth, it could be adventure, I could be forbidden and guilty pleasures; the key is to keep it vague. Dangle the prize before their eyes, postponing satisfaction, and let their minds do the rest. The future seems ripe with possibility. Stimulate a curiosity stronger than the doubts and anxieties that go with it, and they will follow you. Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction
Bulldog positioned herself as a friend, made friends with the people within our circle. Being a bartender at a place we felt comfortable at and frequented often, only added to her access, and to easily begin seducing by wearing seductive clothes, including her shorts exposing the cheeks of her butt; indulged his every need; flashing stolen winks and smiles. And when I was not around, she made sure that she positioned herself where she could steal stolen brushes and touches. She confided in him, and fueled his sympathy by telling him about her divorce and despair over her childrens welfare, and how they would be taken care of. Once she went so far as to have the entire bar patronage convinced that she had breast cancer in both breast, and would have to have them both removed, but mysteriously, following the so called day of surgery, they were still there. To top it all off with a cherry on top, when he finally went to her for solace, she made insinuations that I was cheating on him behind his back, among other things, creating the seed of doubt, anger and possibly revenge. She made sure that she made it clear she did not, or would not indulge in any of the things that he found annoying about me. This devil incarnate used just about every tactic in the “Art of Seduction”.
Through her mode of dress, the stolen smiles and winks, and brushing up on him, she both insinuated and gave an unspoken message that she was available to him. And by her lack of inhibitions and her wild behavior, when he had her she would drive him to the heights of ecstasy. All this could easily be his, but…he was taken, therefore, he was not meant to want her, she was the forbidden, creating a barrier and tension, for the desired fruit.
When Casanova confided in her, he gave her all the information that she needed to allow her to give him the impression that his current situation with me held no near future contentment. What with those added expenses we hadn’t counted on, now having to fight to pay the bills, and my ex-husband and son making sure that he added drama, and turmoil in our lives at every turn. Our dream we had worked for to create was falling apart at the seams.
She, on the other hand, would be easy to please, she had nothing, so he could not fail as a provider, and anything he supplied would be more than she had. She on the other hand, presented, and was willing to supply him with a constant flow of wild pleasure and excitement. “Let me help you lay down your troubles, and let me please you”, was the message she gave. “You have everything to gain, and nothing to loose…if you allow me to…if you follow me.”
Bulldog is bold and brass, and she is one of those people who believes she has the answers to what everyone else should be doing, and how they should be behaving and thinking. One day Casanova, in his despair over the mounting tensions in our life made the comment to me and probably her, “I need a strong person who can tell me what to do.”
Casanova had told me during our many talks when we first met, that he was a rescuer, and one of the things that he liked so much about me was that I was self-sufficient and independent. I loved him for him, and not for what I could get from him. Even though that was a quality that he loved, deep down he was still a rescuer, and Bulldog fell deeply into the category of someone that needed a man to give her a home. That coupled with our current financial difficulties which deeply bruised his male psyche, she presented an easy opportunity to regain his sense of manly self-worth, and be her savior.
He had also off-handedly remarked several times that he liked a woman a little on the trashy side. This one goes without saying. The first time he said it, I remember asking myself what he saw in me. But I also knew that he was very ambitious, and we both had dreams of things we wanted to do and accomplish that matched, and our combined knowledge, drive, and assets would help us to accomplish those things together. Something she did not, nor would she ever have. She could only supply instant sexual gratification, as well as knowledge of how to mix a drink, and the wild abandon of the nightlife.
In every struggle the unconscious will win out over the conscious every time.
“The Love Triangle” works on the third party’s weaknesses of greed, envy, jealousy; and need for competition; of wanting what they cannot have, and what someone else has that they perceive they want; and above all, the thrill of winning over the object of their desire. One of the partner’s weaknesses for wanting to create desire and competition in their partner, against the third person they are using to stir those weaknesses and fight for them, is the desire to create and heighten their perceived value in their partner’s, or desired partner’s eyes.
Temptation works in several ways.
Being in the right place at the right time, when someone is discontent, or perceives some sort of lack in their lives, or leading them to believe, or insinuating that they do, by planting a sneaky seed of doubt, and supplying the right missing ingredients is an overwhelmingly powerful aphrodisiac to temptation. Luring and enticing the unprotected down its path, in those times when we are the most vulnerable. When the temptation strikes a cord with a weakness, insecurities, or perceived lack in our lives, and promises to validate us, and what is currently missing in our lives, it is hard to resist. It may even involve pain, however, pain offers its own temptation, and is very close to pleasure. Just the same as hate can be very close to love, as they both require great passion. When we are feeling secure and satisfied, temptation looses its power.
Temptation works on the weaknesses of the partner’s desire for the “forbidden fruit”, having what they should not desire, and finding a way to get away with having it, without loosing what they already have; or fulfilling a perceived lack, or a compensation or distraction for a perceived lack. The third person in both cases is still all about their weaknesses of greed, envy, jealousy, need for competition and thrill of winning; wanting what they cannot have; and what someone else has that they don’t, but believe they should be entitled to.
We all have insecurities, consumed by doubts and regrets, and fighting to keep order in our lives. However, when we step out into the World we put on a mask concealing those insecurities from the people around us. We don’t want anyone to see our weaknesses. We go through our daily grind of life trying to gain, and hold on to our security, all the while looking out there, and seeing people that appear to have so much more, and appear to be so much more happier and fulfilled than we are.
We are faced with temptation almost daily, of one sort or another, and it is exhausting standing by society’s and our own moral codes, all the while fighting to maintain a feeling of security. Closing our eyes, and holding up a strong front in the face of our doubts and regrets, as well as being faced with the perception that others have so more than us, and are so much more happy than we are, is exasperating. We see glamour every time we pick up the remote control. Make no mistake about it, we are all struggling with keeping order in our lives, and damn it, it is hard being good and righteous all the time.
We aren’t looking for temptation, what we are really looking for, and secretly wanting, is to lay down our guard and restrains, and give in to temptation. To throw caution to the wind, and relieve the tension of holding it all together.
Temptation surrounds an underground desire that is being subdued, causing tension when confronted with it…when it is there for the taking. Causing you to wither and struggle with the tug-of-war of desire against restraint and barriers. It starts kneading its way into the back of your mind, sparking a flame, causing it to consume and take over your thoughts. The more you try to resist, the more the thoughts and desire mount. The curiosity and imagination grows into a bonfire.
The Apple in the Garden of Eden. The fruit looks deeply inviting, and you are not supposed to eat of it; it is forbidden. But that is precisely why you think of it day and night. You see it but cannot have it. And the only way to get rid of this temptation is to yield and taste the fruit. Robert Greene - The Art of Seduction
When a temptation has the perception of a future pleasure, and distraction from our everyday lives and pressures, a perceived barrier to that pleasure, the desire to overcome the barrier, and get a taste of the pleasure, intensifies. You/they are taken; you/they are not good enough; you\they are not interested; morals vs submission.
The only way to get rid of temptation, is to yield to it. Oscar Wilde
So many times, sadly, we find out that our fantasies turn out to be so much different than the real thing. I will leave you with this:
The same voice in your mind that told you to act, is the same voice that ridicules you later for making that choice. Jonathon Mead
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#194534 - 10/20/10 04:07 PM
Re: Add Disability to the Mix
[Re: ævory]
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Ivyella
Member
Registered: 04/18/00
Posts: 2619
Loc: Denver
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Really?? Bulldog was some kind of scheming seductress and Casanova just fell into her trap? This is such a biased article. I'm sure the author didn't have a part in this story either.
But then, its been a long, long time since I've hung out at a bar.
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#194540 - 10/20/10 05:49 PM
Re: Add Disability to the Mix
[Re: Ivyella]
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flicka
Member
Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
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If this didn't tip her husband to the fact that "Bulldog" was a problem -- nothing would.
Once she went so far as to have the entire bar patronage convinced that she had breast cancer in both breast, and would have to have them both removed, but mysteriously, following the so called day of surgery, they were still there.
_________________________
"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
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#194554 - 10/20/10 08:40 PM
Re: Add Disability to the Mix
[Re: flicka]
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Ivyella
Member
Registered: 04/18/00
Posts: 2619
Loc: Denver
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Well, there was a woman in Colorado, around Denver somewhere, married to a cop, who actually collected money, saying she had cancer, but then she got busted and arrested.
I wonder if she was "tempting" married men ... probably, sounds like only a real bitch would do that.
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#194744 - 10/27/10 01:55 PM
Re: Add Disability to the Mix
[Re: Ivyella]
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ævory
Member
Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 9657
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Really don't know what was up your butt, Ivy, when you posted here.
But it's cool. lol
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