i watched 'brokeback mountain' yesterday. i especially noted the wives' ways of coping with what was either felt or known to various degrees. i wish there were more examples of living with that particular struggle in a healthy manner.
why any wife woud wait for the boys to descend from brokeback mountain is unclear to me. who deserves the ramshackle trailor of aloneness and who gets the warmth of home and why?
FTR - i never hid anything from my wife. before we began dating, she and (at least three) guys i dated hung out together. i had broken up with a woman i was with for five years and went through a spell of thinking that i wouldn't be with another woman ever. i didn't make it a year.
before- i was very active! i started dancing at 2 yrs old and went to study ballet classic and flamenco, academically and at home, since i am from southern spain and flamenco is part of our daily lives. i also started gymastics and joined the school team since pre school till i graduated high school.
i worked up to 13 hours a day 6 days a week and sometimes even sunday, between being manager of an import/export enterprise and being a dance instructor and part of a dance company. we used to perform in public a lot and i'd do solo performances too.
after- i don't do much. i spend my day watching TV, movies and in the computer. i occasionally go out shopping or to doctor appts, but i am mostly home.