#187184 - 05/23/10 08:58 PM
Sex life with CP
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chemicalzombie
Junior Member
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 2
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Hey everyone this is my first post
First let me describe my disability experience, I am a female who was born with cp andhave learned to adapt to life with a disability. The type of CP I have is rare and called extrapyramidal CP and differs from spastic in the following ways:
1. my muscles do not jump sporadically instead they respond to my emotions or when i am trying to concentrate. I am able to get totally relaxed on my own but I can't have any interruptions.
2. my problems disappear in my sleep ( as weird as that sounds I have been told by my parents that it is true)
I have been very lucky in the fact that I am not cognitively impaired. I have been wheelchair bond since I was 2 and Power wheelchair bond since five years old. I can use the restroom with assistance and I use attendant care to help me with my needs as I live away from home most of the time.
now that I have described me, I will detail the purpose of starting this thread. I have been thinking about sex lately and how it would work. Also how starting a relationship works before sex like dating. I would love to hear dating and sex stories from people who share my type of disability also advice on what to expect. my main problem is that my muscles respond to my emotions so sex and all the emotions that sex entails could be a problem. I have never dated but now that I am older(20)would like to start.
Edited by chemicalzombie (05/23/10 09:00 PM)
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#187186 - 05/24/10 12:00 AM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: chemicalzombie]
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Navigator
Junior Member
Registered: 05/16/10
Posts: 19
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welcome, if your dating and love making are anything like your writing you will do well!
You are too young and innocent for me but some of us men are attracted to you ladies with CP. I am paralyzed and my legs spasm rarely so am turned on by a woman who spasms so much she has muscle tone better than Mr Atlantis!
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#187266 - 05/26/10 03:35 PM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: Navigator]
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YosemiteSam
Member
Registered: 05/20/00
Posts: 5386
Loc: No. Calif. (SF Bay Area)
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Welcome to New Mobility, CZ. Hmmm, interesting choice of screen name.
_________________________
 Bob
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#187426 - 05/31/10 04:16 AM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: chemicalzombie]
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skm
Junior Member
Registered: 05/28/10
Posts: 12
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hai let us share your feelings of sex at your present conditions of life
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#187461 - 06/01/10 04:40 AM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: skm]
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skm
Junior Member
Registered: 05/28/10
Posts: 12
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if no objection please share your feeling of sex
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#187686 - 06/07/10 09:29 PM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: chemicalzombie]
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grommet
Junior Member
Registered: 06/07/10
Posts: 1
Loc: san francisco
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Hi Zombie,
I don't have CP, I have dated a couple of women who did. We never had any trouble with sex. Well, sometimes, moving around took a little longer and with one friend, it was kind of funny. Between her disability and mine, sometimes we would get a little tired from trying to moves arms and legs and get things just right.
Everybody with CP is so different, but I think you are spot on, wanting to talk with other folks who have it.
The thing that attracts me most to a woman is her attitude, sometimes her disability is way down on the list of things that matter.
Hope I've helped some :-)
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#188217 - 06/24/10 06:53 AM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: grommet]
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Navigator
Junior Member
Registered: 05/16/10
Posts: 19
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Good point grommet it is peoples attitudes that really matter. We get used to a persons looks in a matter of minutes once we starting talking with them then it is all about the person.........except those nights when she has a red teddy on and her hair pulled back with a sheen on her skin and the scent of pheremones and....
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#188536 - 07/02/10 03:21 PM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: Navigator]
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chemicalzombie
Junior Member
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 2
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Thanks for the replies! I admit that I don't check this board That much so sorry I haven't answered but I will now!
@ Navigator, thanks for the complement. One thing about my spasms is that I worry I may accidentally kick my future partner in the balls lol. I had one female attendant jokingly say " good thing I am not a guy" when she was lifting me. This fear is probably irrational but still.
@ Yosemite Sam, Thanks, I came up with this user name ever since I studied chemistry last summer. The class made me feel like a zombie.
@ Skm, I think it is hard for me to have feelings about sex because I am still a virgin. Sex in my opinion should be the culminating aspect of a relationship. So if you are trying to assess whether I am up for a one night stand, I am afraid I would respectfully decline lol.
@ grommet, I agree with your assessment of the situation. I don't think having a disability makes a relationship harder. The difficulty is putting oneself out there to meet people since independence for people with disabilities is harder to achieve. Additionally people with disabilities have a harder time doing traditional social related events. Also I think you pointed out one of the most frustrating things about CP is its great variety in expression.
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#188541 - 07/02/10 05:32 PM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: chemicalzombie]
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lazer
Member
Registered: 03/16/02
Posts: 7672
Loc: a world of my own...
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no offense, but if your gonna wait till your in a relationship to have sex, u might be waiting a long time
good luck....
_________________________
====
Memo: Don't get p*ssed at my OPINION, cuz thats all it is, my OPINION.........
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#188554 - 07/02/10 07:41 PM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: lazer]
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MrsDrublic
Member
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 926
Loc: los angeles ish
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LOL @ ball kicking!!! if it makes u feel any better hun, my mr is an incomplete quad,and iam AB, he has crazy legg spasms, and i get the old knee to the snatch often enough when were sleep together, but its not like he can control it, how can i get mad? it hurts, i push him over a bit n sometimes yell at his leggs lol but its not gonna stop me from screwin him, sleepin w him, or loving him.. dont worry toooo too much bout it, and theres always diff positions to cuddle/sleep in that can make those occurances less likely good luck 
_________________________
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#189967 - 07/25/10 05:56 AM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: chemicalzombie]
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holmsie
Junior Member
Registered: 07/25/10
Posts: 1
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I recently come out of a five year relationship with my ex who has C/P which I have too.On some days my ex liked to play with my penis which resulted in ejaculation, which made her feel happy.When she touched me I would automatically become aroused, and on the occasion where we could both be naked, I too could pleasure her, which also resulted in orgasm for her.
It is out there for you to find someone to whom you can trust and to experiment with.
Talking is also a great way to begin with and can lead to much more, if in the right company.
It made me happy to pleasure her, as it relaxed her and gave us both pleasure.
I hope I have been of some help.
Please feel free to ask any questions that you may have.
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#199412 - 07/04/11 02:28 AM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: chemicalzombie]
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whriylvr08
Junior Member
Registered: 07/04/11
Posts: 1
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I am a 21 year-old female with CP, and I am currently in my first real relationship. My boyfriend is able-bodied. We met online, so I was very worried about what kind of preconceptions would form in his mind (re: cognitive function, etc) without a face-to-face interaction to dispel them. He has been amazingly unfazed by my life. Obviously, as I'm sure you know, everyone reacts to the chair a little differently. I've found the best approach is to clearly communicate how CP affects your life, as well as how it doesn't, and encourage your partner to ask questions. In regards to sex, as corny as it sounds, trusting each other helps tremendously. I don't have muscle spasms, but my hips can get very tight, so insertion can cause temporary muscle twinges (apologies if that's too explicit for this board). Communication is very important in bed. If you don't have experience to be able to verbalize what you want, start with just kissing and touching, and speak up when your partner does something enjoyable. If you're not sure what he/she likes, ask. Articulate that you need things to progress slowly. Anyone who's worth your time will be willing to patiently and attentively fulfill your needs. If your partner is more experienced, ask him/her to brainstorm ideas on how to overcome any challenges that arise for you. As you gain experience, don't be afraid to suggest things. And, trust me, the whole "how the hell am I going to get my legs to cooperate" thing isn't really that much of a concern once you start enjoying yourself. Relax, speak up, and explore
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#199434 - 07/05/11 01:21 PM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: whriylvr08]
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4wheeler
Member
Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 414
Loc: Riverside Co.,CA
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I am a para myself but I do have two cousins that have CP (1 guy and 1 girl) and also knew another girl who also had CP.And they all have had many relationships.I have never talked to my girl cousin about sex but I know that she is very comfortable with it.So I don't know if she has any spasms or any tightness with her muscles.The other girl I knew would just tell me that her boyfriend was coming over and that they were going to get "freaky". LOL!
Like holmsie,Stormi and whriylvr08 all said.Once you begin having sex start exploring and finding out what works for you and your partner.Even more so you.Once you start getting to know your body while having sex things will become more natural for you.
Also if there are at any times that you may feel uncomfortable when going out and socializing......DON'T.You have to be able to be comfortable with yourself first.Always have fun when you can.
_________________________
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#200834 - 12/02/11 12:13 PM
Re: Sex life with CP
[Re: 4wheeler]
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jazzman
Junior Member
Registered: 12/01/03
Posts: 5
Loc: Wyoming
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CZ,
My wife and I both have CP, although not the type you have. My wafe has spastic/dystonic, and I've got spastic diplegic complicated by a stroke that pretty completely wiped out my left side. We still have a satisfying sex life; I'd like to recommend two books:
1. Enabling Romance: A Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships for People with Disabilities (and the People who Care About Them)
2. The Illustrated Kama Sutra.
The most important thing is communication between you and your partner. Be willing to experiment, and tell each other what works and what doesn't. As far as the complications from emotional responses, I can't be much help, as we don't have that issue, but communication about it is bound to help.
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