#185343 - 04/06/10 11:36 AM
i had been feeling empty lately...
|
kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
|
...it was like i was only partially invested or connected to what was going on around me.
this morning, i recognized this as an opportunity for rebirth. perhaps living with two huge holes has changed who i am in fundemental ways. perhaps i had been defining myself in terms of what i had been instead of who i am, now.
i had allowed community and church associations to pull me toward motivation.
this past easter, two days ago, i wrote no special instrumental arrangements, i recruited and practiced no vocal group, i prepared nothing. i let it be what it was without my artistic influence.
i thought i was depressed...but decided that i felt empty because i am empty...
time for openness to new yearnings and comfort within that walk.
maybe i'm just going crazy(er)
_________________________
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185345 - 04/06/10 12:43 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: kan5a5]
|
sweetqt
Member
Registered: 06/13/07
Posts: 709
|
Wow, that is intense, but also something I can connect to.
I dont think you are crazy, there are moments that I have actually looked (out of the box). I think this a normal experience that is expected.
Lately, I have been really placing myself in situations that I feel,......... in the past were just flowing moments.
I think for me, it is the fear of what the surgeon will find.
(pressing the LIKE button) on this one :)~
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185347 - 04/06/10 01:57 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: sweetqt]
|
YosemiteSam
Member
Registered: 05/20/00
Posts: 5386
Loc: No. Calif. (SF Bay Area)
|
I think for me, it is the fear of what the surgeon will find.
(pressing the LIKE button) on this one :)~
On 4/1 you said: "gone for a Upper GI Endoscopy? My general surgeon just called and wants to do one... and i am scared.
Did it hurt?
any info would be great, I am very nervous, as I have 3 kids."
Did your Upper GI Endoscopy come back with bad results or are you still waiting to have it done?
_________________________
 Bob
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185352 - 04/06/10 02:19 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: YosemiteSam]
|
Johnboy 64
Member
Registered: 11/16/01
Posts: 15944
Loc: a nice place
|
terry, by your post it doesnt sound like you were really happy doing the 'church stuff'. just something to occupy yourself? i get lost reading your posts sometimes.
Edited by Johnboy 64 (04/06/10 02:20 PM)
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185356 - 04/06/10 03:24 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: Johnboy 64]
|
kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
|
well...for what it's worth...i don't try to confuse.
then again, i'd not try to hide confusion if i was feeling it.
essentially, i was saying that my motivations are swinging from external to internal. i've been making music and art for others. i need to turn that process more inward right now. it'll be lonelier in my shrine of creative process. pray for me.
i'm also at that stage of parenting in which nobody really needs a lot right now. certainly, that has something to do with it.
_________________________
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185357 - 04/06/10 05:14 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: kan5a5]
|
Peaches
Member
Registered: 06/14/03
Posts: 2617
Loc: In a peaceful, easy feeling...
|
Oh! This is exciting... a new journey is about to begin... newself assessments... you've already gone through the hard part... a spiritual journey? a marriage rekindlement? Who knows :-)
after an emotionally long and exhausting ordeal with my fathers cancer/Alzheimer's... I was the only one in the room when he died
... and this was way before his body stopped functioning.
Suffice it to say, I was tangled up inside. Long story short: this led me in what became a most intense spiritual journey!
It felt so right and was a huge awakening... to this day I have the tools to deal with life.
Terry, fear not my friend... if this changes how your creativity is manifest... embrace.
I know one thing: I need you; you add so much to these message boards... at least for me. Although you've kept our connection to posts on message boards, I appreciate your every word!
Peace, peaches
(but then again, maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about )
_________________________
"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet." Bob Dylan
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185367 - 04/06/10 06:42 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: kan5a5]
|
flicka
Member
Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 24616
Loc: SLO County, CA - 66.122.77.142
|
i'm also at that stage of parenting in which nobody really needs a lot right now. certainly, that has something to do with it.
I've been thinking about your post all day. I did imagine that your life is a bit less 'complicated' by children right now. (you know one of my favorite memories of you is the orange hair picture.)
I am familar with your feeling of emptiness. Don't force your rebirth; allow the pangs of labor to come naturally and don't forget to breathe. It's all about rhythm.
_________________________
"A lot of things were acceptable--until we stopped accepting it." -- Al Sharpton '12
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185383 - 04/06/10 07:21 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: YosemiteSam]
|
sweetqt
Member
Registered: 06/13/07
Posts: 709
|
Good evening Bob
I am meeting with the surgeon on Thur and he will go over what he will do as well as set the appt for the test.
Thank you for your concern, I think my biggest fear is that I smoke. And I realize I am not invisible when it comes to anything.
Life is too short, and I need to try and get the best out of it, for my children if anything.
I do hope you are well  again... thank you
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185387 - 04/06/10 07:38 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: sweetqt]
|
Lola
Member
Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 5944
|
everything will go just fine, michelle 
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185391 - 04/06/10 07:43 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: Lola]
|
sweetqt
Member
Registered: 06/13/07
Posts: 709
|
Thank you And even if it don't atleast I have good friends that will listen to me whine ... lol
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185403 - 04/06/10 08:31 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: kan5a5]
|
Lola
Member
Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 5944
|
everything will go just fine, michelle SECURITY!
anything wrong with that, terry?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185404 - 04/06/10 08:44 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: flicka]
|
kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
|
i'm also at that stage of parenting in which nobody really needs a lot right now. certainly, that has something to do with it.
I've been thinking about your post all day. I did imagine that your life is a bit less 'complicated' by children right now. (you know one of my favorite memories of you is the orange hair picture.) I am familar with your feeling of emptiness. Don't force your rebirth; allow the pangs of labor to come naturally and don't forget to breathe. It's all about rhythm.
flicka, it's like you know me.
while exercising this evening, vicki said, "hey! my coworkers asked me if you would put together a collection of tv themes to perform at the facility during nursing home week..."
_________________________
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#185405 - 04/06/10 08:45 PM
Re: i had been feeling empty lately...
[Re: Lola]
|
kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
|
everything will go just fine, michelle SECURITY! anything wrong with that, terry?
can you shed some light on why it belongs in this thread?
_________________________
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
|
