#178776 - 01/29/10 01:06 AM
still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
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Amanda C
Junior Member
Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 9
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ok so im only 16 (still a virgin) T12 complete since age 8. so sex is complicated enough for a teenager, being in a wheelchair adds to that ten fold. Anyway im not in a rush to have sex, but what can I expect, can I even enjoy sex? (no feeling at all below the belly button) or is it just fun for the guy when you’re a para? Also meeting guys is hard when your known as the “wheelchair girl” and nothing else, anyway all you experienced para girls out there what can I expect? I don’t even know where to start ADVICE PLEASE!!!
Thanks- Amanda !
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#178780 - 01/29/10 05:34 AM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: Amanda C]
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tooleyC7T1
Junior Member
Registered: 01/25/10
Posts: 27
Loc: Alberta, Canada
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I'd recommend finding a sexual therapist that specializes in spinal cord injuries. Perferably a female that you are comfortable with. They can definitely put things in perspective.
My favorite story about love of any type is a local woman here in Edmonton. This true story is from a book called "Daring to Live" by Louise A. Miller, written and published here in Canada. The woman in the story was practicing back flips in gym class at age 16. She landed on her head and broke her neck, leaving her a quadriplegic. She within 9 months was rehab'd and driving. She moved to the city after high school and lived on her own while attending university. One day driving home she caught the eye of a guy in traffic. They flirted in traffic, checking each other out, he had no way of knowing she was paralyzed. She got home, exited her van in her chair and there he was. Very friendly and interested (and good looking) he asked her out. Creeped out that he had followed her home, she took his business card but never called him. Two months later, same guy, same thing. Another month and he was working on a construction site close to her apartment building. On his lunch breaks he would jog past the building. She often wondered about him. One day he came and left flowers and a poem for her at the receptionist desk. She called him and they married soon after, 15 years happily. If that's not a love story I don't know what is. BTW, she's small like you, she races her wheelchair competitively against male paraplegics (and wins) and scuba dives, and works making really good money. Never say never! I would say anyone with a spinal cord injury has more strength, more patience, more love to give than "normal" people. I hope some women here can mentor you a bit. Like all dating, there will be ups and downs. Don't worry about sex being the goal, it is but a small part of true love. Take it from a guy that had lots before his injury, a good woman beats a good lay anyday.
Have fun!
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#178887 - 01/29/10 03:11 PM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: tooleyC7T1]
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lazer
Member
Registered: 03/16/02
Posts: 7672
Loc: a world of my own...
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legal disclaimer cuz your 16, your to young to have sex, lol
the following is for when your 18............
explore your own body to find stuff u like........
be sure your outgoing and talkative, and dont be afraid to appoach guys
dont be shy and wait for guys to approach u, unless u wanna wait forever
regarding sex, alot more for u will be mentally in areas u cant feel. enjoy things visually. and explore the places u can feel
dont ever be afraid to tell a guy what u like and want
now, i'll get alot of slack for saying this, but dont whine to a guy that sex is not effective for u, or u cant feel so it might be boring, etc......
guys get bored fast, and many guys just wanna get off, and most of all they want a fun and exciting girl to enjoy sex with
all girls dream of those rare good guys that are romantic, caring, loving, sincere........ but it usually takes a long time to find them
my advice, be sure u can handle a 1 night stand emotionally.... just dont have sex until youve dated awhile and knows he really cares about u as a person, because oddswise any guy u have sex with will move on
harsh but true......... sorry
now....... let all sugarcoaters post and tell u its easy to find a good guy, and you'll have lots of hunks banging down your door, and everythings gonna be lovely
good luck to u
_________________________
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Memo: Don't get p*ssed at my OPINION, cuz thats all it is, my OPINION.........
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#178901 - 01/29/10 04:01 PM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: lazer]
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MrsDrublic
Member
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 926
Loc: los angeles ish
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oh lazer ur so funny lol i love how honest u are :P
sweetie, im an AB female, and i cant vouch for what u can of cannot expect from sex, but i can tell u the females ive spoken to on this site, have a wide range of feeling and numbness in the 'down there' area. from what ive learned on this forum theres all kinds of diff types of sensation for ppl w the same injury level.. so really id say explore urself, maybe theres parts u feel a little something and ur not aware, buy one of those crazy vibrators and expiriment, my man is an incomplete quad and when we mess around he feels the sexual sensations he should feel in his 'man place' more so in his chest and belly says it comes in waves, and he gets weird tingles and warmth, rather than the 'normal' sexual sensations ud have being AB. and if anything, u have other parts that u CAN feel, those can be satisfying and erotic as well.. neck biting n sucking, nipple play, ear licking ect.. it all really depends on u, and it is deff a lot of mental work for most ppl in a chair, as ive been told. and i agree w lazer, no sex yet.. its better for ur heart to not be broken so young, i know u said ur not in a rush or nething, but jus from a females stand point lazer is a man and he knows how men are, sadly i do too, and a good man is hard to find, dont give it up to sum prick that says he cares bout u. take care of urself sweetie and good luck 
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#178973 - 01/30/10 07:04 AM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: MrsDrublic]
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sweetqt
Member
Registered: 06/13/07
Posts: 709
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True love is beyond "penetration". Looking in the soul of the one you love and feeling that connection that brings your soul on fire is the true definition of "making love". Sadly this does not come as often as we may think, but if and when you may experience it, cherish the moment as that is all there truly is.
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#178981 - 01/30/10 11:26 AM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: sweetqt]
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kan5a5
Member
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 13311
Loc: kan5a5
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for my wife and i, knowing each other honestly has been our pathway to experiencing new heights. trust and supporting each other to fly in individual directions has been a great ride.
i wish michele and flicka would weigh in here, about the, what's in it for me physically question.
my injury is similar level and i actually have some sensation throughout my package. those have been used to take me over the top. if you have no feeling at all...there are places on your body that will take you to exciting heights. i'm sure of it. that is about exploration.
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#178982 - 01/30/10 11:27 AM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: sweetqt]
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lazer
Member
Registered: 03/16/02
Posts: 7672
Loc: a world of my own...
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True love is beyond "penetration". Looking in the soul of the one you love and feeling that connection that brings your soul on fire is the true definition of "making love". Sadly this does not come as often as we may think, but if and when you may experience it, cherish the moment as that is all there truly is.
yup, for the girl
guys are a diff breed, most the time we just want fun, and girls who want more many times scare a guy away
_________________________
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Memo: Don't get p*ssed at my OPINION, cuz thats all it is, my OPINION.........
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#178984 - 01/30/10 01:01 PM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: lazer]
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sweetqt
Member
Registered: 06/13/07
Posts: 709
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Many a girls dont want any more than what it is, as well.
Although us woman sometimes allow the emotions to take control, a mistake that only happens once,but yet is possible.
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#179004 - 01/30/10 07:21 PM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: sweetqt]
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lazer
Member
Registered: 03/16/02
Posts: 7672
Loc: a world of my own...
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Many a girls dont want any more than what it is, as well.
Although us woman sometimes allow the emotions to take control, a mistake that only happens once,but yet is possible.
define many? lol.... i dont consider 1 out 100 many
most girls want it all, love, stability, faitfulness, emotions, etc...
of course the shy prudish girls who think sex is a duty are the ones that usually end up alone... or dumped fast
_________________________
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Memo: Don't get p*ssed at my OPINION, cuz thats all it is, my OPINION.........
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#179024 - 01/30/10 11:37 PM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: lazer]
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shakey56
Member
Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1889
Loc: where the wild roadrunners roa...
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Just for the record lazy is still a virgin too.
_________________________
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
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#179026 - 01/31/10 02:35 AM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: shakey56]
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tooleyC7T1
Junior Member
Registered: 01/25/10
Posts: 27
Loc: Alberta, Canada
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LOL
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#179122 - 01/31/10 11:54 PM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: shakey56]
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IndiAnna
Member
Registered: 06/04/01
Posts: 2541
Loc: IN
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I am a t4 para who was injured at the age of 18. I never had any problems even after my dis when it came to men and getting a date.
Been married for 21 years to a wonderful man and had 3 daughters after my accident, 22,16 and 11. The sex is good for both of us although I am a complete para. I think sex is what you make itl You can read alot online about different levels of injury and what to and what not to expect. Learning what you can do best to please someone sexually and vis versa will come with experience and alot of practice. But please take your time as I have a 16 year old and cringe at the thought of her loosing her virginity to some boy you really does not care about anything else but a notch in their belt.
I like to have my husband touch me gently in certain places on my body. Since I dont have any feeling just past my nipples my breasts are extra sensitive to what ever my husband does to them. As silly as it sounds when he barely touches my face and my arms, almost feather light, I get chills all over. In time you will figure out what feels good to you.
Good luck and hopefully you will get some more answers to your questions.
_________________________
71.115.0.185
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#179984 - 02/09/10 09:03 PM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: IndiAnna]
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crypticgimp
Member
Registered: 07/15/07
Posts: 153
Loc: erie canal
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please DO NOT be in a hurry to lose your virginity. a friend of mine was and ended up being raped by some one eyed crack dealer in a park cuz she didnt care too much about herself. then dated his friend who would beat her and raper her every night. she got pregnant, had an abortion and isnt in a good place. TRUE STORY
virgins can be awesome and powerful and know their sexuality without having sex. i say get some sex toys and have fun but wait til u find a person who respects you. sexual pleasure doesnt solely come from some guy humping you, that's really the antithesis of what it can be.
and if that doesnt help, think of some gross one eyed crack head 
_________________________
Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!
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#180083 - 02/10/10 01:41 PM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: Amanda C]
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starlight.2
Member
Registered: 02/19/09
Posts: 796
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ok so im only 16 (still a virgin) T12 complete since age 8. so sex is complicated enough for a teenager, being in a wheelchair adds to that ten fold. Anyway im not in a rush to have sex, but what can I expect, can I even enjoy sex? (no feeling at all below the belly button) or is it just fun for the guy when you’re a para? Also meeting guys is hard when your known as the “wheelchair girl” and nothing else, anyway all you experienced para girls out there what can I expect? I don’t even know where to start ADVICE PLEASE!!!
Thanks- Amanda !
you're only 16? what's your hurry?
_________________________
Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace.
--Dalai Lama
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#180192 - 02/11/10 02:22 PM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: starlight.2]
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lazer
Member
Registered: 03/16/02
Posts: 7672
Loc: a world of my own...
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as adults we gotta tell youngsters to wait..... but lets be honest, sex is fun and feels good
being intimate with someone can be a great thing
_________________________
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Memo: Don't get p*ssed at my OPINION, cuz thats all it is, my OPINION.........
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#187527 - 06/02/10 11:37 PM
Re: still a virgin need advice .HELP PLEASE!!
[Re: Amanda C]
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skm
Junior Member
Registered: 05/28/10
Posts: 12
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Hai iam para with t11 t12 injury of incomplete with more sexual sensation. Iam also expecting to do sex because of sexual erection. What advice r help you need because our level of people wants more care, affection and very sincere love
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