#16142 - 04/17/06 05:24 AM
living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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Anonymous
Anonymous
Unregistered
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This is my first topic post. I'm curently in rehab waiting for my house to be modified so I can leave this joint, and am interested in hearing about other women's individual experiences of getting out into the community,how they dealt with their old friends or making new ones, getting back into school/work, issues of sexuality, dating, having children, getting into sport or other hobbies, and how they dealt with discrimination (if that has been an issue for anyone). I'd particularly like to hear from quads, seeing as I am one. 
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#16143 - 04/17/06 05:35 AM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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Maurice
Member
Registered: 12/13/04
Posts: 1132
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welcome Pauline Joy hope this site helps the transition from the AB world to cripdom. The move can be bumpy at times and some things only a fellow disabled person can identify with.
(Woo Hoo I finally beat Para Dude in welcoming a lady newbie, pigs Do fly!)
:p
_________________________
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#16144 - 04/17/06 08:02 AM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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alexandra*
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 4492
Loc: somewhere on a road less trave...
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Welcome, you will learn many things here. Don't be afraid to ask.
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#16145 - 04/17/06 08:04 AM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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ævory
Member
Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 9657
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funky profile
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#16146 - 04/17/06 08:05 AM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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ævory
Member
Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 9657
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Originally posted by Maurice:
(Woo Hoo I finally beat Para Dude in welcoming a lady newbie, pigs Do fly!)
:p [/QB] 
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#16148 - 04/17/06 01:27 PM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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Splinter
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 4436
Loc: CA
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Welcome. You can also check out http://www.mobilewomen.org
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#16149 - 04/17/06 03:34 PM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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Susqu
Member
Registered: 03/19/00
Posts: 263
Loc: Maryland
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From where I sit, to answer your question would fill several books instead of a few posts.
I can't say much from a quad perspective (my injury is T-12 complete) but to sum up most of the answer :
Just take things one thing at a time and play it by ear.
That sounds overly simplistic, but all situations are very different. There's no unwritten rule book, like in the AB world.
Just don't let things gang up on you. If you pick problems apart and solve one thing at a time they don't seem so overwelming.
If there are any specific situations you'd like to get opinions on, I'm sure there are many here who would be more than happy to give you the benefit of their experience, or guide you to sites or books that might be able to help. Just ask.
_________________________
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that make horseraces.
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#16150 - 04/17/06 03:35 PM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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jeffh55
Member
Registered: 05/16/00
Posts: 2108
Loc: wrong place/wrong time
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non a grrl but my personal rant-raiser has to bwe worse for a woman,,,when a white male w/ a degree & almost every academic honor available cant even get a call to interview when a company is looking for THREE entry level employees,,,something is wrong...when said person gets pursued relentlessly by a company (who doesnt know he is sci) until he gives in and gets an appointment,,,arrives for the interview,,& HEARS the bossman exclaim "wheelchair" when the receptionist announces him...and that bossman suddenly has no time & shuffles me off to and underling who offers a position, sort of, @ $6.50/hour then something is wrong...when i finally did get called...by one of my classmates...and is told by that person his resume was found at the bottom of the stack after he had already rejected all of the other interview-ees...finally gets hired,,,something is wrong...so...as i said,,,this is just going to be added to the present climate a young woman already faces in the real world...a suggestion,,,if u dont have a skill you can sell as an independent consultant consider getting those skills...that is what eventually worked out for me...sorry if this sounds bitter....but, dammmit,,,i AM bitter about it...
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#16152 - 04/18/06 08:52 AM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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Anonymous
Anonymous
Unregistered
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Thanks all for the warm welcome.
jeffh55 your message really freaked me out  ...seing as I am a non-white female taking time out of university reevaluating my circumstances, what I want to do with my life. Still, keeping positive and hopeful... I live in a country with really tough ass anti-discrimination laws (not familiar with the legal situation in U.S)
Thanks to Splinter for the MOBILEWOMEN link... very helpful.
Maurice your profile photo is strangely compelling... gave me weird feelings. 
I'm able to get around in a manual chair and have been able to go shopping recently, which allowed me to exact revenge on some shopgirls who have been unbelievably bitchy to me in the last year as I got sicker (my SCI caused by illness)...let them wait on me for a good hour, before leaving without making a purchase. Petty? Yes. Satisfying? Absolutely.
OK, my first SPECIFIC question: I was asked out this week by an AB guy and turned him down, not because I wasn't interested, but because I was too afraid to accept what was a fairly innocent request. Between catheterising, managing my medication and bowel routine, I just don't know how I'm going to get back into the game. 
I'm very at ease with being in a wheelchair, at ease with who I am, but the whole sex thing really freaks me out now my body has changed so much. I'd like to hear from any disabled women out there who met their partners AFTER their injuries, whether your partners are AB or not. Body image issues can be a bitch when you're AB, so what do you do when you're not? I want to know how other "femmequads" or other women with disabilities have gone about reentering the dating game and finding a partner.
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#16153 - 04/18/06 09:36 AM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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Greg
Member
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 10000
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Originally posted by jeffh55:
if u dont have a skill you can sell as an independent consultant consider getting those skills...that is what eventually worked out for me
Oh yea, welcome and have a splendiferous day
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#16156 - 04/18/06 12:20 PM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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alexandra*
Member
Registered: 02/24/00
Posts: 4492
Loc: somewhere on a road less trave...
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I met my husband after graduating to a wheelchair (MS). I agree with Merry, take it slow.
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#16157 - 04/18/06 02:59 PM
Re: living with a SCI - a woman's perspective
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jeffh55
Member
Registered: 05/16/00
Posts: 2108
Loc: wrong place/wrong time
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i suggest u go to the "relationships..." topic and spend some time reading thru the archives...and dont feel like u r unusual in your reluctance due to our particular issues,,,every single one of us faces that...and we re-visit it with nearly every new person we date if it progresses to a point where those issues become important...
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