Sounding Off: Disability and Gender

illustration by Melina Fatsiou-Cowan

Is having a disability in our culture easier or more difficult for women than men? In what ways?

Cheryl Marie Wade
I think how hard cripdom is on a person, female or male, depends on much more than just the physical/mental manifestations of the disability. I live in a very progressive state with excellent resources so I'm sure it has been easier for me to navigate these often treacherous waters of living with a majorly boogered-up bod than for some poor dude living in a place where there's no real support. But in general, I think our society values women less than men and crip women even less than that. So if there are resources available, they'll go to support a male before a female.

Vini Portzline
When I became disabled my son was 2 and I felt like a failure because as a mother I could not physically take care of him anymore. While I was in rehab there was a young, married dad, also with a 2-year-old. He needed to use a wheelchair for the rest of his life, just like me. Again, my main concern was how to take care of my son while my husband was at work--his was how will he ever fish again! It is equally hard for men and women to have a disability in this culture, but both have a different viewpoint on what makes it difficult.

Tim Gilmer
To me, the main difference between women and men with disabilities, from a cultural perspective, has to do with perceived power, whether it be the power of sex/physical beauty, intellect, athleticism, or qualifications to run a Fortune 500 company. Disabled men have less stigma to overcome in these fields because of ingrained cultural patterns, but also because of the way perceived physicality influences power. In other words, it's easier for a wheelchair-using man to get respect than it is for a woman with a similar injury because the physical bearing of a woman is so blown out of proportion culturally. Could there be a female Stephen Hawking? Chris Reeve?

Eleanor Smith
Most people would accept--and others vigorously dispute--data showing that overall it is harder to be a nondisabled woman than a nondisabled man in this culture. Women in general are more often the victims of domestic violence, get lower pay for the same work, hit a glass ceiling, have a harder time breaking into the blue collar trades, talk less than men when in mixed groups, etc.

Assuming that disabled women and men have harder lives than nondisabled women and men, a question becomes, "Does disability so strongly impact people's lived reality that it alters the relative weight of regular gender inequality? Decrease the relative oppression gap? Or increase it?"

Jo D'Archangelis
I have always thought that it is easier in our culture for women than it is for men. Men are under much more societal pressure to deny having a disability than women are and when men do acknowledge their "disabled-ness," they have more difficulty coping with it.

Traditionally, men have been thought of as the ones who provide for the family, who serve as protector and defender, who compete and succeed. When a man has a disability, he finds it more difficult to live up to this cultural stereotype. He feels "feminized," even "infantilized," unable to provide for and protect himself, least of all others. His whole manhood becomes questionable--not a good thing in our society.

Psychosexually we [women] may have serious doubts about being sexually "attractive" to someone else, but I think men probably feel the same way--whether they admit it is another question. But our role in the sexual act itself is more passive than that of men's, so we aren't usually hung up on not been able to "perform" the way we ought to and having our whole womanhood put into question.

Barry Corbet
I think the answer depends on what sphere of life you're talking about. If it's finding a mate, it may be more difficult for women because men are such jerks about dating women with disabilities. If it's the workplace, I think men are more driven to slay the dragon, sometimes to the detriment of their health and relationships. You could ask your question about anything else.

My bet is that it all comes out even and that disability is what you make of it, not what it makes of you.

Harriet McBryde Johnson
I wouldn't dare to generalize. Disability is too diverse, and so is "our" culture. But I have thought that my neuromuscular disease is easier in some ways for me as a Southern woman than it would be if I were a Southern man. I've never felt social pressure to be physically strong or self-reliant. Power comes from other sources--the Steel Magnolia and all that. But other things, like disfigurement, may fall harder on women.

Karen Hwang
As a SCI quad, I'd say quadhood is probably harder on women than on men, for two reasons. First, because only 15 percent of SCIs are female and most of the clinical rehab and research reflects male interests. And it's still a REALLY sucky way to meet men.

Also, despite the feminist advances of the last 30 years, unfortunately a lot of a woman's social value is tied to how she looks, and for many a woman her self-esteem is still tied to how she feels about how she looks. Having a visible physical disability quite obviously puts you way out of the running--even models in wheelchairs always look like ABs sitting down; no atrophied limbs or quad bellies allowed.

Joe Ehman
I think in general it's the same for both men and women, because in my experience society sees the disability before the person. And even as disabled people we tend see our disability before we see our "self" as a whole. But American society, as does Mexican society, puts a higher standard on women. Just compare the women's selection versus the men's selection of clothes at your local department store. Formal wear for women is vibrant, alive while all we men have are dark boring suits. Thus, a women has a higher standard to meet than a man.

Sue Montgomery
The entire rehabilitation profession needs to shift into new gears when it comes to women and career development. I have colleagues who were told by their rehab counselors to find a man, get married, and have him take care of you. Also, I have seen women of color assigned to training programs in housekeeping and other menial tasks when they have the capabilities and potential to be accountants, teachers or other professionals. The hierarchy for those who can receive rehab benefits to attend college or other professional or technical training is: white male, ethnic male, white female, ethnic female.

If four equally qualified persons with disabilities entered the rehab evaluation process, the white male would receive precedence over everyone else. It troubles me when I see ethnic persons who have great potential assigned vocational training that is based more on stereotypes than on actual abilities. It is even more troubling to note that all women suffer from this gender and racial bias.

Lavinia Williams
I think it's more difficult for women because of the stigma that women don't belong in the workforce. I'm faced with several barriers when I go in the door: I am African-American, a woman and disabled. So when I enter they see all of this before I even speak. But I hold my head high and will not let society prejudge my abilities.

Steve Crowder
I suspect that if one went down an extensive checklist of the many areas of difficulty and frustration that encompass many of the barriers associated with our respective disabilities that there would be plenty of problem areas for both men and women. Who is to say that one's list of gripes is less significant than another's? I know this--that being a man with a spinal cord injury is no bed of roses and I imagine it is not for a woman either.

Linda Riegel
I think it is harder for women to have a disability than a man because it seems that the men leave women with disabilities and don't want to keep the wedding vows of sickness and health. In my case things were fine until MS hit, and that was the end of the caring.

When a man gets a disability, POOR THING, the woman sticks around to take care of him and usually is there for the duration. Not always but more women stay than men when faced with a spouse with a disability.

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