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Seven Getaways For Renewing Hearts
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June 2001
Seven Getaways For Renewing Hearts
By Josie Byzek

Even true love, tested through years of steady companionship and shared dreams, sometimes calls for getting away. And a leisurely change of location can be the perfect prescription for romance: sipping a glass of wine in a distant motel room, soaking in a Jacuzzi, or strolling amid bright city lights. Here are highlights of seven escapes that led away from everyday concerns and back to the heart of the matter.

Sweetbriar Bed & Breakfast,
Door County, Wis.

On the Fourth of July weekend in 1999, Linda Mastandrea and Anel Gonzalez of Chicago decided to run away. Destination: Door County, Wis., famous for antique browsing and water sports. Using a Web search, Mastandrea found the quintessential hideaway--Sweetbriar Bed & Breakfast. Given how impulsive their plans were, they were lucky. "I'm amazed we found anything," recalls Mastandrea.

Linda Mastandrea and Anel Gonzalez photo
Linda Mastandrea and Anel Gonzalez

Nestled in the north woods on a plain carpeted with wildflowers, the Sweetbriar features rooms with fireplaces and comfy chairs, Jacuzzis, cozy balconies, and king-sized beds. "As if that's not enough," says Mastandrea, "in the seating area outside the room, they leave little snacks at night: a bottle of sherry, fruit, cheese, all these little touches that just make it nice."

Since all the rooms were usable for the two of them--both wheelchair users--they had choices, which worked perfectly since the "accessible" room had a roll-in shower but no tub or Jacuzzi. Of course, they opted instead for a room with a Jacuzzi.

The innkeepers went above and beyond the call of duty for the two--even calling local attractions so they could make a list of accessible sites available. Jet Skiing and antique browsing during the day and retiring to their romantic room at night made the weekend unforgettable.

Between the two of them, Mastandrea and Gonzalez wear lots of "hats." Mastandrea, 36, is legal counsel for the state of Illinois' Client Assistance Program, vice president of the U.S. Cerebral Palsy Athletic Association and is involved with the Hartford's Team Ability, a group of seven athletes who speak to the Hartford Financial Services Group about disability issues. Gonzalez, 31, an L2-3 para, is a bilingual technical assistance specialist at the Great Lakes ADA Center, an empowerment zone coordinator at Access Living and a softball player with the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago.

Taking off their "hats" and running away for the weekend must have worked some magic: Mastandrea and Gonzalez were married on March 30. Congratulations!

. The Door County Chamber of Commerce, 920/743-4456; www.doorcountyvacations.com
. Sweetbriar Bed & Breakfast, 920/854-7504; www.sweetbriar-bb.com. Rates vary from $129 to $175.

Bruce Harding's Old Sourdough Lodge,
Wrangell, Alaska

Last August, Carl Hay and Olivia Oso caught the Alaska state-run ferry in Bellingham, Wash., and camped on deck for their two-day trip to Juneau, Alaska. Along the way they watched pods of Orcas by day and glittering stars by night.

Carl Hay and Olivia Oso photo
Carl Hay and Olivia Oso

The boat leg of their trip ended in Juneau, where they were picked up by owner Bruce Harding and taken to Harding's Old Sourdough Lodge in Wrangell, Alaska. "This little bitty town on an island is also home to the Tlingit people," says Hay, "who consider crows to be their ancestors." Given how vociferous the crows were in Wrangell, he and Oso found the legend easy to believe.

At the lodge they enjoyed home-cooked meals served family style with the other guests--fishermen mostly. In the evening they sat by the roaring fire, located conveniently close to the bar. When warm and toasty, they retired to their spacious accessible room equipped with a Jacuzzi just the perfect height for Hay's wheelchair.

One day they ventured out to a bear observatory. "Olivia has a strong connection to bears," says Hay, 55. That may be an understatement: Oso, 49, adopted her last name--which means "bear"--from the Spanish language. Hay was the first wheelchair user to go on the 300 to 400-yard-long trail to the camouflaged viewing area. The trail is down a flight of steps, so Hay, a T12 para, accepted help to get to it. An armed forest service person accompanied them in case of a bear attack. "To me, it's romantic to have an adventure together when you're both feeling 'challenged,'" says Hay.

. Alaska's State Ferries, 800/526-6731; www.akferry.com. Camping and not taking a car, $100 per person. Two berths with facilities, $270; taking a car, $578. All fares estimates only.

. Bruce Harding's Old Sourdough Lodge, 907/874-3613 or 800/874-3613; akgetaway.com/HardingsLodge. April-September, $95 and October-March, $75. Info on trip to bear observatory also available by calling the Harding Lodge.

Reno, Nev.
For Mary Fowler, 63, and Jim Gonsalves, 62, any place away from their usual household situation in Alameda, Calif., is romantic. "Jim, who has CP, has a live-in attendant, so if we go up to Reno and get a room at the hotel ... I guess it's like parents who have kids getting a babysitter and going off somewhere," says Fowler, who survived a burst cerebral aneurysm.

Mary Fowler and Jim Gonsalves photo
Mary Fowler and Jim Gonsalves

Gonsalves is a blackjack fanatic and Fowler is a mighty bargain hunter. Their trips to Reno blend both pastimes. Gonsalves says the payout's higher than Vegas, and--according to Fowler--if you take advantage of the right deals, "you can do Reno for a bird's song." They surf the Web for cheap fares and usually take Southwest Airlines. Once in Reno they grab a Whittlesea Checker Taxi to the Flamingo Reno Hotel, which reimburses their taxi fare. The access there and around town is excellent. They try to win free meals, and highly recommend the Rainbow Buffet and Silver Legacy's buffet.

In Reno, anything can happen. They regularly win tickets to free shows, and once--on the way back to the Flamingo--they saw a tiger in the street being led from a truck. "It was a beautiful live tiger," says Fowler. "When it saw us on the sidewalk it just stood for a moment and stared right at us--with no bars between us." The tiger then turned away and sauntered through the side door into the hotel.

. Southwest Airlines, 800/I-FLY-SWA; www.iflyswa.com.

. Whittlesea Checker Taxi, 775/322-2222.

. Flamingo Reno Hotel, 775/322-1111 or 800/648-4882; www.flamingoreno.net. Room rates start as low as $45 per night.

Palm Springs, Calif.
Palm Springs has everything a couple needs for a truly romantic weekend, says ADA coordinator Phil Kaplan, a 50-year-old T5 para. Here's his plan--most of which he's tested on his girlfriend, Debbi Allen:

Friday evening, book into the Spa Hotel & Casino--they'll pamper you with massages. Or, if your idea of romance requires a Jacuzzi, maybe check into the Palm Springs Marquis Resort. Enjoy French or Italian cuisine that night at Europa, located on Palm Canyon Drive. If you like spicy, try El Mirasol, a local favorite, also on Palm Canyon Drive.

The next morning, dazzle your lover with the scenery of the Indian Canyons located on the tribal lands of the Agua Caliente Band of Cahuilla Indians. Take Palm Canyon Drive through the city, past the resorts and the residential sections until you can't drive any further. About a quarter of a mile later you will reach a kiosk and pay $6 per head to the gate keeper. You are now in another sovereign nation.

Kaplan recommends driving to Andreas Canyon, which has picnic tables, accessible bathrooms, and jungles of palm trees. From the Andreas Canyon, go back on the main road and travel to the trading post, where you can soak up Aguas Caliente art and music. Pathways from the post wind down into a palm grove that is at least 200 years old. It isn't accessible, says Kaplan, because the Aguas don't want to disturb the land. "It's very old and it's pristine," he says. "But it's still worth it to go to the post and look down there."

Back in Palm Springs for the evening, dine at the Café St. James. "Very hip," says Kaplan. "Very romantic." Then retire to the hotel, or perhaps visit the casino at the Spa Hotel & Casino and dance with Lady Luck.

Sunday, have breakfast at the hotel. Then saunter over to the Palm Springs Desert Art Museum, which showcases natural and art exhibits--some featuring well-known artists like Andy Warhol, others highlighting the lives of the people who first adapted to the area's desert life.

. A Mobility Impaired Traveler's Guide To Palm Springs, 800/347-7746; www.palm-springs.org.

Above the Clouds Bed & Breakfast,
Dahlonega, Ga.

Above the Clouds Bed & Breakfast, a mountain hideaway, is for women only. To get there, drive through the restored gold mining town of Dahlonega, Ga., to the top of Little Cedar Mountain.

Here, in the misty mountains, lesbians are among friends. But, really, says Eleanor Smith, 58, a housing activist who had polio as a child, being openly gay is a lot easier these days. "We're pretty comfortable anywhere we go, thanks to the persistent efforts of the movement."

Even given the relatively new openness of most hotels and bed and breakfasts, it's still nice to get away and be around like-minded people. The owners of Above the Clouds have a good library of women's books, videos and music, and promise to talk your ear off about women's issues.

Smith and her partner of 17 years, Barbara Rose, visited Above the Clouds last year, in part because it is easy driving distance from their home in Atlanta, Ga. The evenings were lit by candles and a little fireplace. From the back porch they could see the mountains standing strong and dark. In the morning, says Smith, "We'd look down on the valley and watch the mist rise in the sunlight. As the dawn burns away the mist, it looks like columns of smoke rising--like many, many campfires."

For a long time, Above the Clouds wasn't accessible. Then the owner tripped over a ramp and was injured pretty badly--she used a wheelchair for months. "So when they built the addition," says Smith, "they made it accessible."

. Above the Clouds, 706/864-5211; www.womenshideaway.com. The Fireside Suite is accessible. Call for rate info.

Niagara Falls, Ontario
According to John Tassone's wife, Mary, they never go anywhere. But when they sat down to think about it recently, they realized they've been to quite a few places together. Their absolute favorite is Niagara Falls.

John and Mary Tassone photo
John and Mary Tassone

The first time they went was amazing--it went so well, recalls Tassone, 40, financial manager for the Pennsylvania Statewide Independent Living Council. They'd only been dating a few weeks at the time. "We were trying not to mess it up," says Tassone. "We didn't want to seem like we were snobs or too easy to get along with, either." They drove six hours from Pottsville, Pa., stayed at the Super 8 Motel and wandered off to the strip to find a place to eat. He says he doesn't remember the name of the restaurant, but he does remember they shared two bottles of wine, hours of laughs, and the marquis event of the evening: the second bottle of wine fell off the table. "We laughed so hard--we knew we'd be good together--to have that good a time with somebody and hardly even know them." Then again, maybe it was the wine?

Not really. They returned for a second visit--this time after they had been married a few years--and ended up at the same hotel in the same room. "The only thing different was we had a little more knowledge of each other and what we wanted to see, and so things went smoother," says Tassone.

Besides riding the Maid of the Mist tantalizingly close to the falls, the Tassones enjoyed the Niagara Parks Butterfly Conservatory. There more than 2000 butterflies from 45 species flit about--"real, live butterflies!" says Tassone. The accessibility is first rate, too. "Everywhere we went, it was all ramped, even the boats, and they couldn't do enough for us." Tassone, a T4-5 para, quickly adds, "But I'm only talking the Canadian side, now."

. Niagara Falls Convention & Visitors Bureau, 716/285-2400 or 800/421-5223; www.nfcvb.com.

. Maid of the Mist Steamboat Company, Ltd., 905-358-5781; www.maidofthemist.com. Rates are $12.25 per adult.

. Niagara Parks Butterfly Conservatory, 877/NIA-PARK; www.niagaraparks.com/attract/butterfly.html. Rates are $8.50 per adult.

Amish Country, Ohio, & Toronto
Dan Wilkins, 43, and his wife, Beth, 39, have a 2-year-old son, Taylor, which makes getting away harder these days. Sometimes they make do with short jaunts to Ohio's Amish country, located throughout eastern central Ohio.

Once there, they slow down to the speed of the people who stopped the clock in the 1800s. In keeping with their religious beliefs, which call for simplicity, the Amish do not use electricity or automobiles. The Wilkins will stop and eat a home-cooked meal at an Amish kitchen, and then usually spend the night in a "name-brand hotel." Says Wilkins, a C5-6 incomplete quad, "You can't really trust all the bed and breakfasts to be accessible."

For a getaway that's truly far away, the couple travel to Toronto. After listening to mellow jams on the six-hour drive from their home in Luckey, Ohio, they get to the hotel and usually find the access is all there, so they can fully relax. They don't have a favorite hotel in Toronto. Again, they recommend sticking to brand names.

The purpose of the getaway is to just enjoy being together. Usually that means sharing a bottle of wine, some quiet time, and strolling down one of the main streets--maybe seeing some street musicians and throwing a few coins in a guitar case. They may catch a spicy dinner at one of Toronto's excellent Thai or Indian restaurants. Maybe they watch a show; The Phantom of the Opera is always exhilarating, as are STOMP, Sunset Boulevard and The Lion King.

"Toronto is like a clean New York City," says Wilkins. "Every block and every street is its own ethnic community."

"It's different every turn," agrees Beth. "Lots of diversity." And the shops, and the bistro where they just sit under trees together, sipping coffee--it all adds up to a wonderful weekend together.

. Ohio Division of Travel and Tourism, 1-800-BUCKEYE; www.ohiotourism.com. Free map of Ohio Amish country available.

. Toronto Convention & Visitors Association, 800/499-2514; www.tourism-toronto.com

. On Stage Toronto, www.onstagetoronto.cjb.net