I had a guy in a wheelchair write me the other day asking if I’d ever date another wheeler. He wasn’t hitting on me. He just wanted to know my opinion (and for good reason too).
He was on a disability message board and this question was being bantered about. Much to his surprise, most of the wheelers said they’d never date another person in a wheelchair. He was appalled at the hypocrisy. Yes this is hypocrisy bro. I don’t blame you for getting annoyed.
But I’ve long known about this attitude; an attitude that is very prevalent in the wheelchair-using community. It’s an understandable and practical mindset to have. I’m usually 98% in this camp as well, to be honest. And not too long ago – I was 100% against dating guys in wheelchairs.
I had dated two guys in chairs in my teenage years when I was new to being in a wheelchair. I thought it was a good idea because none of the guys my age who could walk were interested in me. They were great, but it just didn’t work out when it came to being intimate. With his mobility disability and mine, let’s just say our hormones weren’t getting pleased (and I just don’t think I could ever have a PCA help us; just not my thing).
Lately however I find myself looking at the subject differently. Maybe as I’m getting older I’m able to gain a deeper appreciation for people who can really understand all aspects of who I am. Also, it just doesn’t sit right with me to say blanket statements like that anymore. You just never know who you’ll click with. And don’t you hate it too when people say they’d never consider you?
Even though happily dating an able-bodied man, the benefits of dating someone in a wheelchair are attractive. The main one being: They really understand what you go through each day.
If you’ve been in a wheelchair for awhile, from dealing with a spontaneously broken chair to getting stared at, you know you can’t deny how good it feels when you’re with someone who can get your plight withought even saying a word.
What do you feel on the subject? Would you date someone in a wheelchair or do you think it’s ridiculous?