Revisiting the past on Facebook

Facebook provides an almost too easy way to pick the scab off old wounds.  I want to believe people change, I really do, but if anything, Facebook has only revealed that most people don’t change, and if anything morph into older, heightened versions of themselves (not a good thing if you don’t like them).

In the past year I’ve had two people from my past who I’ve written off completely, surprisingly add me on Facebook. Since my injury has changed me into a person who tries to look at the big picture (and holding grudges is certainly not part of this) I got over my reservations and added them. Hey, I want to hope for the better in everyone. But boy oh boy, I sure learned my lesson. A month later, both friends have been unfriended.

The first person was “Mary.” She was a girl I had grown up with who always competed with me on everything (and I always won).  When my injury happened at 14, I always knew deep down she was gleeful. You can just feel these things (sad but true).  When she moved away, the years passed and I got over it.

She had babies, got married, moved to the middle of Arizona. I’m not married, no kids, living in the city and writing for living.  We’re both adults now, or so I thought until she liked a status I posted complaining about how hard it is to live spinal cord injury.  Seriously?  Yeah…..at least I knew she was still the same person in a relatively quick amount of time.

The other person was a relative, a very inappropriate relative (we all have them), who no one has heard from in years.  When my injury occurred, he said some very rude comments to me.  He went on to live a pretty messed up life with the law following him. When he added me on Facebook, I had hoped he changed for the better, but after only a couple of days he had aready sent me an e-mail asking highly inappropriate thing. Kindness kicked in the gut the very last time (personal vow.

I guess the point of this entry is to say that if you’re wondering if it’s a good idea to friend someone that you don’t like despite how many years have passed, don’t do it. Unless they send you a message with the friend request apologizing, or at least saying “Hey!” instead of silently adding you (hate those), click ” ignore. You’ll thank me for it.

Has this happened to you? How did you deal with it? I know I’m not the only one.

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